Archives for 2012

The Camel

There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel.

He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and go on it again.

Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it.

He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help.

The hottest girl said ,”If you fix our car we will do anything you want.”

The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash.

When he finished are three girls asked, “How could we ever repay you Mr.”

After thinking for a short while he replied,”Could you hold my camel?”

Sex Research

The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, the French decided to do their own study. After $250,000 and three years of research, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Canadians, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After two weeks and a cost of around $75.46, and two cases of beer, they concluded that it was to keep a man’s hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead…

Take Care These Holidays

With the holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.

As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a “social session” out with friends. Well two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several drinks followed by some rather nice wine. Feeling happy I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit. That’s when I did something that I’ve never done before – I took a cab home.

Sure enough on the way home there was a police booze bus but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before, I don’t know where I got it and now that it’s in my garage I don’t know what to do with it !!

Premature Ejaculation Problems

A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor.

The doctor said, “When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself.”

That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife.

That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.

The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, “Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air

One of the funny Movember pics I’ve seen

Movember is a very fine cause that’s grown and grown over the past few years. Some of the moustaches grown can be a little sparse, but on the other end of the extreme there’s impressive efforts like this:

 

I happen to know the subject of this photo and he has a huge commitment to the cause: why not donate to someone you know who’s taking part? And I have to admit I’m glad I didn’t see the pre-back shave photo!

OSX Lion: How do you remove the modem icon from the system menu?

How do you remove the modem icon from the system menu?I think it’s safe to say most of us don’t use a modem anymore, internal or external. So it’s annoyed me for years that the modem icon still appears in the system menu at the top of your screen, just near the time.

So it was with some pleasure I worked out how to get rid of it and it’s pretty damn simple to do: you hold down the command key while clicking and dragging the icon downwards to remove it – the same way you remove an icon from the Dock.

How simple is that?

[Pic via Endgagdget]

Three Dead Bodies

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces! The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

The Coroner tells the Inspector: “First body: An Italian, 60, died of heart failure while with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile”.

‘Second body: “Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the Lottery, spent it all on whiskey, died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile”.

The Inspector asked “What of the third body?”

“Ah” says the coroner “This is the most unusual one. Danny O’Neil, Irish, 30, struck by lightning”.

“Why is he smiling then?” inquires the Inspector.

“Thought he was having his picture taken”.

Huey Lewis Now Needs A Credit Card to Ride This Train

Huey Lewis Now Needs A Credit Card to Ride This Train

Made via this handy little website

Procrastination and Virtual Worlds as ‘Work’

I just wanted to briefly post a piece as I’m more than acutely aware that it’s been well over a month since anything new has appeared here. It’s definitely not due to a lack of interest in virtual worlds, and it’s not just because life has been busy. It’s a combination of reasons but there are two that dominate.

First, I am studying for my PhD and my research focus is on the use of virtual worlds in simulating clinical situations for health professionals. So on top of the rest of my life, the little time niche I have for virtual worlds tends to be taken up with that, plus some. Following virtual worlds developments since starting this site in 2006 has been no end of help in my studies, but I obviously need to delve even deeper and that comes at the expense of chasing information outside of my fairly narrow research area.

Second, and I feel like I’m being a philanderer saying it, but I’m enjoying plain old gaming more when I do have spare time. It’s why I set up a blog dedicated to MMOs, because my recreation time is pretty much taken up in that sphere. There’s quiet the community of writers there, because each person is very passionate about their MMO and they love writing about it.

So what does that mean for The Metaverse Journal? Nothing drastic really, unless we’re able to build a larger community of writers.  If you love virtual worlds, no matter which one it is, and you’d like to have a forum for your opinions, then drop us a line. Even with the lesser activity we still have tens of thousands of individuals drop by each month. I’ll still be adding content here and there as well.

That’s really the worst-case scenario: a couple of posts per months at best. Unless of course you have any other suggestions – I’d love to hear them!

Who says bikers aren’t sensitive

On October 9th, a group of Hells Angels bikers were riding west when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge. So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the Police, and says: “What are you doing?”

She says: “I’m going to commit suicide.”

While he didn’t want to appear “sensitive,” he didn’t want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked: … “Well, before you jump, why don’t you give me a kiss?”

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that … and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.

After they finished, George gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the Police, and says: “Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had Honey! That’s a real talent you’re wasting Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?”

“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.”

It’s still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

Previous Posts