Archives for 2014

Review: The Ellis Laws

ellis-lawsThere’s no shortage of stereotypes surrounding older people. A key one revolves around the idea that those over say, fifty, get very set in their ways and that this worsens with the passing of the remaining decades. Add to that the related claim that most old blokes turn into crusty old grumps who see little good about the future, and you have a pretty potent image of what Bob Ellis and The Ellis Laws might be about.

The trouble is, and perhaps this is because I’m the wrong side of forty myself, The Ellis Laws is probably one of the most cogent, incisive looks at modern society that I’ve read. Whether it’s the role of CEOs or the lack of sleep most of us suffer from there’s some very well argued positions that are very difficult to refute – at least from my male, over-40 viewpoint anyway. Ellis relishes the role of observer and it stands him in good stead throughout – there’s less overstatement than I expected and also an avoidance of glorifying the past too overtly. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that Ellis puts forward an upbeat view, but he at least provides some building blocks on which he believes some positive changes could happen.

As the cover blurb puts so well, this is a small book that puts forward the “laws of life we always knew, but have not before now seen put in words”. Yes it’s meant to be irreverent, but that is only one aspect. There are some concepts discussed that force some pretty deep introspection, and that for me was the biggest reward this work generated.

You can buy the book for yourself here for the princely sum of $9.99. It’s ten dollars extremely well spent, and one of the few books this year that I’ll be handing on to others recommending they have a read also.

For transparency: I’m a big fan of Bob Ellis’ published works and I have previously written a review of his stage adaptation of Bob Carr’s Diary of a Foreign Minister (which I’ve also reviewed). After that review Mr Ellis kindly organised a lunch with myself and Bob Carr as a thank you. It was one of the most illuminating lunches of my sheltered life, but I don’t feel indebted to either Bob in any way and hope it hasn’t influenced this review in any way.

Shopping Channel Host Confident of Bringing Abbott To Account

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The Abbott Government’s tumultuous 2014 looks set to continue, with a hardened TV personality determined to pull off the interview of the year.

Gabe Newsome is a freelance presenter on a number of TV shopping channels. He lists his specialties as covering fitness equipment features presentation and kitchen food processor showcasing, but he’d determined to try something a little different before the year is out.

Gabe Newsome: political interviewer on the rise?

Gabe Newsome: political interviewer on the rise?

“I’d assumed that only political journos like Leigh Sales and Peter van Onselen got to do the hard-hitting interviews with our Prime Minister. I saw Karl Stefanovic’s evisceration of Tony Abbott and I was impressed, but I still wrote it off as a one-off fluke by a lightweight TV presenter.”

A seed of an idea had been planted for Newsome as he worked through a hectic week of preparing his next week’s presentations on the Flab Dabbler XL and Veggies to Wedges in 5 Steps Training Program.

“I was practicing my appliance pointing gestures at home before I went into the studio, when the TV caught my attention. It was Kochie on Sunrise, and he had Tony Abbott on. I consider Kochie as a guy who’s on my level as far as gravitas and credibility goes – I mean, he’s the guy who will get in an animal suit and hang his arse out the back of it for a laugh. So when he tore strips off the PM this morning, I knew what needed to come next.”

Newsome has since issued a challenge to Tony Abbott to appear on a future Innovations in Slicing and Dicing segment.

“I’ll be respectful but firm with Mr Abbott, but I can’t vouch for my dicing assistant Neryl. She’s already asked me whether there’ll be time for a question she wants to ask on the impact of the free trade agreements on trans-pacific currency flow speculators. I hope Mr Abbott is prepared.”

The Snark is The Creative Shed’s Satire News Section. 100% of it is satire and in no way resembles reality. Reality is way sillier than this stuff. Follow The Snark on Facebook and Twitter

The Family Christmas Newsletter Template

It’s a tradition some people love, and even more people hate: the form letter enclosed in a Xmas card. If you’d been thinking of retaliating with your own letter, we’ve developed a template to help get you started. It’s even in Comic Sans to cause maximum grief to those receiving it.

You can download a PDF version at the bottom of this post, but here’s what it looks like:

THE_FAMILY_XMAS_NEWSLETTER_TEMPLATE_IN_COMIC_SANS_pdf__page_1_of_2_

THE_FAMILY_XMAS_NEWSLETTER_TEMPLATE_IN_COMIC_SANS_pdf__page_2_of_2_

Click here to download a PDF version. Feel free to post your versions in comments, we’d love to see them.

Does Triclosan Cause Tumours In Humans?

14741409496_4e463f8de1_oYou may have seen some media around some recent research that looked at the impact of high levels of Triclosan on mice. You can look at the study here. Thanks to the brilliant team at the Australian Science Media Centre (via the UK Science Media Centre), there’s some expert feedback on the study and its implications for humans:

 

Dr Oliver A.H. Jones, Lecturer in Analytical Chemistry at RMIT University Melbourne, said:

“The results of this study are certainly interesting but I do not think they are a cause for concern for human health.

“Firstly the mice used in the study were primed with a tumor promoting chemical before being exposed to triclosan (which humans would not be) and the concentrations of triclosan used were much higher than those found in the environment.

“It is also worth remembering that mice are not mini humans and what happens in a mouse liver is often very different from what happens in human livers, or even in those of other rodents. For example, previous studies on rats, and hamsters treated with triclosan did not show any tumor formation at all. Thus the present study, whilst interesting, does not show the full picture.”

 

Dr Nick Plant, Reader in Molecular Toxicology at the University of Surrey, said:

“This study has been undertaken robustly and the experimental findings are reasonable. Note that the authors study only mice, and draw conclusion only on mice. Their comments on human health are very circumspect.

“As the authors state, it is difficult to assess if the dose that they use in mice is relevant to human exposure levels, but at a simple examination it appears to be much higher than I would expect to see in a human. This further complicates extrapolation to the human situation as we are not comparing equivalent exposures.

“The data does support the action of triclosan on the nuclear receptor constitutive androstane receptor(CAR), and that this could act as a tumour promoter.  The suggestion that this action could be further exacerbated by the regenerative hyperplasia seen in humans suffering from liver disease is reasonable, but there is no real evidence to support this.

“However, the authors do not address a key point in their paper, which is whether the proposed mechanism is conserved across species.  The previously reported effects of Triclosan on the nuclear receptor PPARalpha do not impact human health as the PPARalpha signalling pathway is different between rodents and humans (and the authors dispute these anyway). In this paper, the authors suggest that the tumourogenic mechanism is via another nuclear receptor CAR.  For this nuclear receptor there is also a considerable species difference in response, with chemicals (including carcinogens) acting differently between rodents and man.

“On this basis, it is not valid to state that the effect of triclosan in mice will occur in humans as well, indeed the historical body of evidence suggests a species-dependent effect is more likely.  However, as with all new signals, it is important to examine them and decide if they are biologically plausible in the species of concern (in this case humans).  I would treat this paper as interesting, but would not see it as the basis for a shift in triclosan use at present.  There are simply too many unanswered questions as to whether the findings are relevant to humans, and indeed the body of evidence currently suggests that they are not.”

 

Prof Tony Dayan, Emeritus Toxicologist, said:

“The report describes a sophisticated set of investigations into the molecular biological and pathological consequences of prolonged exposure of  laboratory mice to TCS, culminating in promotion of the development of liver cancer in mice pre-treated with a powerful cancer-causing chemical, i.e. tumours occurred more often in mice co-treated with TCS over a long period.

“The authors themselves point out that the dose of TCS was very considerably higher than the average amount that humans might ingest from toothpaste and other products or in drinking water if the normal procedures of water purification had not removed any that might have been present in raw water sources. They did not explore whether lower doses had similar actions nor did they investigate the relevance of the gene changes shown to human tumour development.

“High doses of many substances have been shown to act as ‘promoters’ of liver tumours in experimental animals, including a number that have been sufficiently well studied to show that the same effect has not occurred in humans, including phenobarbitone, a well known treatment for certain types of seizures, and certain [>] other medicines.

“Any study of the means by which a chemical can act as [>] a promoter in the laboratory can provide important information about cellular mechanisms. However, it is not possible to draw a direct link based on the artificial nature of those experiments and a risk to people. That would require much more information particularly whether the chemical  had any relevant action after the much lower doses to which we might be exposed and if the same pathways were affected in a similar way in humans.”

 

Prof Alan Boobis, Professor of Biochemical Pharmacology, Imperial College London, said:

“This is not the first study of the carcinogenicity of triclosan, even in mice.  Previous, guideline compliant, studies have established that triclosan is carcinogenic to the liver of mice but not to rats or hamsters.  The mechanism of tumour formation has not been established, but it does not involve damage to DNA (genotoxicity).  The present study extends information on the possible mechanism for liver tumours in mice.  This appears to involve initial damage to the liver, leading to fibrosis which then acts to exacerbate any pro-carcinogenic incidental or induced DNA damage, by compounds that can interact directly with DNA.

“The dose used in the present study was similar to that at which tumours had been observed previously in mice. Studies in primates showed no hepatic damage at doses greater than those used in the present study, when administered for 12 months. Whilst it is possible that the carcinogenic effect in mice is relevant to humans, it should be noted that mouse liver tumours are induced by many chemicals, and often they are not relevant to humans.  Further information on the mode of action for the liver tumours observed in the present study would be necessary to determine the relevance if any for triclosan.

“Notwithstanding this uncertainty, the tumours in mice are secondary to hepatic damage, an effect that shows a threshold.  Hence, ensuring exposure to triclosan is below that causing liver damage would be more than sufficient to avoid the risk of any carcinogenic effects in humans.”

  

Prof Sir Colin Berry, Emeritus Professor of Pathology at Queen Mary University of London, said:

“Triclosan is metabolised in the liver by sulphation and glucuronidation; i.e. groups are added to the compound to make it soluble enough to excrete. So this is work for liver cells (like alcohol) and if you have damaged them, any continued stimulus to activity will result in growth with increased tumour numbers in experimental situations where DNA damage has been induced. Tylenol uses the same mechanisms and would probably act in the same way.

“Initiation and promotion are long standing concepts in oncogenesis but anything increasing division rates in liver cells will work – more cirrhotics get hepatocellular cancer now as we keep them alive longer with their liver nodules growing.”

 

So the summary of all that? Nothing’s proven as far as human impact and that most likely you’d need to be ingesting levels of Triclosan that damaged your liver before there’d be a likelihood of tumours.

 

New Dad Admits Sudden Passion for Long Walks

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34 year-old Justin Marburg is a recent dad, with his fiancee Siobhan Lemaire giving birth to their first child Mia earlier in the year.Since that time Justin has discovered a latent interest in what he calls Elite Street Walking.

“One afternoon I was sitting at home devoting myself to spending quality time with Mia, when I realised I could be doing something to set the family up for life.”

Within 90 seconds, Justin had left the house, returning briefly to put some shoes on and then starting his first Elite Street Walk.

iStock_000010225658Medium“Before I knew it, I’d been walking around the neighbourhood for two hours.I felt great and felt part of the community. Within a week of doing this, I was up to three hours an evening and half a dozen other blokes were out there with me for all or part of it.”

Justin is now working on an Elite Street Walking franchise scheme. “I’ve had enquiries from men of all ages, but mostly new dads and recently retired men, all wanting to put as much into the idea as they could.”

The franchise scheme is expected to be launched early in the new year, after Justin recuperates from some unexpected surgery.

“Siobhan suffers from involuntary muscle contractions since giving birth. As I walked in the door last week, unfortunately the hand she was using to cut up vegetables for Mia’s pureed dinner, spasmed quite badly. Thankfully the knife hit a rib though.”

The Snark is The Creative Shed’s Satire News Section. 100% of it is satire and in no way resembles reality. Reality is way sillier than this stuff. Follow The Snark on Facebook and Twitter

Chicken Farmer

Farmer John once lived on a quiet rural highway but as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so heavy and so fast that his free range chickens were being run over, at a rate of three to six a week.

So Farmer John called the local police station to complain “You’ve got to do something about all these people driving so fast and killing all my chickens” he said to the local police officer.

“What do you want me to do?” asked the policeman.

“I don’t care, just do something about those crazy drivers!”

So the next day the policeman had the Council erect a sign that said: SCHOOL CROSSING

Three days later Farmer John called the policeman and said “You’ve still got to do something about these drivers. The ‘school crossing’ sign seems to make them go even faster!”

So again, they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY

That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and said “Your signs are no good. Can I put up my own sign?”

In order to get Farmer John off his back said “Sure. Put up your own sign”.

The phone calls to the Police Station stopped, but curiosity got the better of the Officer, so he called Farmer John “How’s the problem with the speeding drivers. Did you put up your sign?”

“Oh, I sure did and not one chicken has been killed.

The policeman was really curious and thought he’d better go out and take a look at the sign. He also thought the sign might be something the Police could use elsewhere, to slow drivers down..

So he drove out to Farmer John’s house.

His jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign:

NUDIST COLONY: Slow down and watch out for chicks!

Wine Taster

A wine merchants the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire. An old man who was drunk, with a ragged dirty look came to apply for the position. The director wondered how to send him away.

He gave him a glass to drink. The drunk tried it and said “It’s a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acceptable”. “That’s correct” said the boss.

Another glass… “It’s a cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results”. “Correct”.

A third glass… “It’s a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive” calmly said the drunk.

The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something. She left the room, and came back in with a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it. “It’s a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant… and if I don’t get the job, I’ll name the father.

Ten Uplifting Songs To Make Your Day

We all have bad days, weeks or months, and sometimes we turn to music to try and give us a bit of a boost. Music is such an individual thing, but I thought I’d share ten songs that may give you some much needed positivity in an otherwise crap day. Enjoy:

The Pogues – Ghost of a Smile

The Waterboys – Spirit

Architecture in Helsinki – Desert Island

Patti Smith – April Fool

Paul Kelly – Beautiful Feeling

Finn Brothers – Won’t Give In

Tracy Chapman – Sing For You

Yusuf Islam – Midday (Avoid City After Dark)

The Panics – Majesty

My Friend The Chocolate Cake – I’ve Got A Plan

Bank Robbery

On Friday, A hooded robber burst into a bank and, at gunpoint, forced the tellers to load their cash into a plain brown bag.

As the robber approached the door, one brave customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robber’s face. Without a moment’s hesitation, the robber shot the customer.

He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him.

The robber instantly shot and killed her also.

Everyone in the bank, by now horrified, stared down at the floor in silence.

The robber yelled “Well, did anyone else see my face?”

There was a long moment of dead silence in which everyone was terrified to speak.

Then, one old Australian named Bernie cautiously raised his hand and said “My wife got a pretty good look at you!!”

Inflamed Appendix Joke

A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.

 

The doctors operated and advised him that all was well, however, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch.

 

Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn’t told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.

 

Taped firmly across his pub ic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn’t come off easily – if at all.

 

Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence “Get well soon, from the nurse in the Silver Magna you pulled over last week

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