Shopping Channel Host Confident of Bringing Abbott To Account


The Abbott Government’s tumultuous 2014 looks set to continue, with a hardened TV personality determined to pull off the interview of the year.

Gabe Newsome is a freelance presenter on a number of TV shopping channels. He lists his specialties as covering fitness equipment features presentation and kitchen food processor showcasing, but he’d determined to try something a little different before the year is out.

Gabe Newsome: political interviewer on the rise?

Gabe Newsome: political interviewer on the rise?

“I’d assumed that only political journos like Leigh Sales and Peter van Onselen got to do the hard-hitting interviews with our Prime Minister. I saw Karl Stefanovic’s evisceration of Tony Abbott and I was impressed, but I still wrote it off as a one-off fluke by a lightweight TV presenter.”

A seed of an idea had been planted for Newsome as he worked through a hectic week of preparing his next week’s presentations on the Flab Dabbler XL and Veggies to Wedges in 5 Steps Training Program.

“I was practicing my appliance pointing gestures at home before I went into the studio, when the TV caught my attention. It was Kochie on Sunrise, and he had Tony Abbott on. I consider Kochie as a guy who’s on my level as far as gravitas and credibility goes – I mean, he’s the guy who will get in an animal suit and hang his arse out the back of it for a laugh. So when he tore strips off the PM this morning, I knew what needed to come next.”

Newsome has since issued a challenge to Tony Abbott to appear on a future Innovations in Slicing and Dicing segment.

“I’ll be respectful but firm with Mr Abbott, but I can’t vouch for my dicing assistant Neryl. She’s already asked me whether there’ll be time for a question she wants to ask on the impact of the free trade agreements on trans-pacific currency flow speculators. I hope Mr Abbott is prepared.”

The Snark is The Creative Shed’s Satire News Section. 100% of it is satire and in no way resembles reality. Reality is way sillier than this stuff. Follow The Snark on Facebook and Twitter

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