One day, 7-year-old Little Johnny is on the playground, when he overhears two older boys talking about “Blue Velvet”. Being an inquisitive sort, Little Johnny walks up to them and asks them “What’s Blue Velvet?”
They proceed to kick his ass.
The recess teacher sees Little Johnny bruised, bloody, and crying. She asks him “What happened, Little Johnny?” to which he replies “Those older boys beat me up, just because I asked them what Blue Velvet is”. “As well they should have!” she states. “Get your ass to the Principal’s office, right now!”
Confused, scared, bruised, bloody, and crying, Little Johnny goes to the Principal’s office.
“Now son, just what happened?” “Well, sir, two older boys beat me up, and then the recess teacher sent me to you, all because I asked what Blue Velvet is”. “Little Johnny, you are expelled. Get the hell out of my school!”
Expelled, confused, scared, bruised, bloody, and crying, Little Johnny wanders home at midday. His mother answers the door, exclaiming “What happened?!” “I was beat up, yelled at, and expelled from school, all for asking what “Blue Velvet” is”. Little Johnny’s Mother slams the door in his face. From behind the closed door she yells “You’re never welcome in this home again!”
Homeless, confused, scared, bruised, bloody, and crying, Little Johnny wanders along Main Street wondering what to do, when a Policeman pulls up. “Get in” he says. Little Johnny does so, and as they start driving, the Policeman asks what happened. “Well, sir, I got beat up, yelled at, expelled from school, and thrown out of my home, all because I wanted to know what Blue Velvet is”.
The Policeman brings the car to a screeching halt, and throws Little Johnny out, saying “You are no longer welcome in this town. Don’t let me catch you around here again!”
Banished, homeless, confused, scared, bruised, bloody, and crying, Little Johnny wanders the highway on the edge of town, when a trucker pulls over and motions him into the cab.
As they drive away, the Trucker asks what happened. “Well, sir, I got beat up, yelled at, expelled, thrown out of my home, and banished from my town, all for asking what Blue Velvet is”.
“Is that so?” says the Trucker. “Well, hell, I can tell you what Blue Velvet is”.
The Trucker stops the truck. “See that Hotel over there on the other side of the Highway? If you go into that Hotel, go up to the Third Floor, walk down the hallway, and knock on the second door on the right, there’s a woman in there who can tell you exactly what Blue Velvet is”.
“Gee, Thanks, Mister!” replies Little Johnny, smiling for the first time all day.
Little Johnny jumps down out of the truck and runs across the Highway when *BAM* he is hit by a car and killed instantly.
The moral of the story? Always look both ways before crossing the street.