Archives for April 2013

The Deaf Wife Problem

Bert feared his wife Peg wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

‘Here’s what you do,’ said the Doctor, ‘stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.’

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was In the den. He says to himself, ‘I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.’ Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, ‘Peg, what’s for dinner?’

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. ‘Peg, what’s for dinner?’

(I just love this)??

‘For F*-#?? sake, Bert, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!’

Dog For Sale

A man sees a sign outside a house – ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’ He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.

The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.

“Do you really talk?” he asks the dog.

“Yes,” the Labrador replies.

After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, the man asks, “So, tell me your story.”

The Labrador looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I was sold to the SAS. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years”.

“But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow Airport to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals”.

“Then I got married, had a few puppies, and now I’ve just retired.”

The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.

“Ten quid,” the owner says.

“¬£10!!? But your dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?”

“Because he’s a lying bastard, he’s never been out of the garden.”

2013 Mental Health Symposium in Second Life

virtual-abilitySome more great work from Virtual Ability, Inc, with this Saturday seeing a Mental Health Symposium. You can find out more on the Virtual Ability blog but here’s the schedule:

Will you Treat ME?  Funding mental health care treatment Рnow and under the Affordable Health Care Act
KEYNOTE PRESENTATION
Presenter: Jayme Nelson, RN, MS (SL Avatar: Jayme Xaris)
Saturday April 27, 2013 7-8 am PDT

Sudden Violent Loss: Its Impact on Every Member of the Community
Presenter: Deborah Houston-Schrenzel (SL Avatar: Brede McDonnell)
Saturday April 27, 2013 10-11 am PDT

Poetry and Mental Health
Readers: Eliza Madrigal, Zen Arado, Szavannah Resident
Saturday April 27, 2013 11:30am-12:30pm PDT

Introducing the Whole Brain Health Fair to Second Life
Presenter: Lissena Resident
Saturday April 27, 2013 1-2pm PDT

Exploring New Ways of Evaluating Mental Capacity of Seniors
Presenter: Kara Bennett, Ph. D. (SL Avatar: Dancers Yao)
Saturday, April 27, 2013 2:30-3:30pm PDT

Herbal Medicine and Mental Health
Presenter: Richard Roth (SL Avatar: Farm Gartenberg)
Saturday, April 27, 2013 4-5pm PDT

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