My Grandma’s Toilet Sign

On the back of the toilet door:

Call a spade a spade,

And don’t be funny,

Our Toilet’s a Lav,

And Sometime a Dunny.

Don’t waste the paper,

Don’t stay too long,

Or somebody’s ‘works’,

will go all wrong.

The Best Eighties Music Mashups Ever

What a discovery I made thanks to a friend on Facebook. The Hood Internet have created what are nothing short of masterpieces as far as music mashups. The level of work that has gone into these are incredible. Each year showcases 50 songs in around 3 minutes, and as you’ll hear, it’s a long way off cramming those songs in where you can.

Have a listen for yourself, and ideally use headphones to appreciate what these folks have pulled off. We’ll update this post as new ones are added.

Featuring: ABBA, AC/DC, Anita Ward, Billy Joel, Blondie, Boomtown Rats, The Buggles, The Cars, Charlie Daniels Band, Cheap Trick, Chic, The Clash, The Cure, Donna Summer, Doobie Brothers, Earth Wind & Fire, Electric Light Orchestra, Fleetwood Mac, The Flying Lizards, Gang of Four, The Gap Band, Gary Numan, Joy Division, Kiss, The Knack, Kool & The Gang, Lipps Inc, M, Michael Jackson, Pat Benatar, Pink Floyd, The Police, The Pretenders, Prince, Queen, Rainbow, Rupert Holmes, Sister Sledge, The Specials, Squeeze, The Sugarhill Gang, Supertramp, Talking Heads, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Van Halen, The Whispers, Wire

Featuring: A Taste Of Honey, AC/DC, The B-52s, Billy Joel, Billy Squier, Blondie, Bob Marley & The Wailers, Bruce Springsteen, The Clash, The Cure, Dead Kennedys, Devo, Diana Ross, Dolly Parton, Elvis Costello, The English Beat, Frankie Smith, Generation X & Billy Idol, George Benson, Hall & Oates, J. Geils Band, The Jam, John Lennon, Journey, Joy Division, Kool & The Gang, Kurtis Blow, Lakeside, Martha & The Muffins, Orchestral Manoeuvres In the Dark, Ozzy Osbourne, Pat Benatar, Pete Townshend, The Police, Queen, The Ramones, The Romantics, Rush, The S.O.S. Band, Steely Dan, Stephanie Mills, Talking Heads, U2, Ultravox, The Vapors, Yarbrough & Peoples, Zapp

Featuring: .38 Special, AC/DC, Afrika Bambaataa, Billy Idol, Billy Squier, Blue Oyster Cult, Depeche Mode, Duran Duran, Foreigner, Funky Four Plus One, Go-Gos, Hall & Oates, Human League, Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, Journey, Juice Newton, Kim Wilde, Kool & The Gang, Laurie Anderson, Loverboy, Men At Work, Neil Diamond, New Order, Olivia Newton-John, Phil Collins, The Pointer Sisters, The Police, The Psychedelic Furs, Queen & David Bowie, Rick James, Rick Springfield, Rod Stewart, Rush, Soft Cell, Squeeze, Stevie Nicks, Taana Gardner, Teena Marie, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Tom Tom Club, Toni Basil, Treacherous Three, Trio, Vangelis, Yoko Ono

Featuring: A Flock of Seagulls, Afrika Bambaataa & The Soul Sonic Force, After The Fire, Alan Parsons Project, Asia, Billy Idol, Bow Wow Wow, Chicago, The Clash, Culture Club, Dazz Band, The Descendents, Dexys Midnight Runners, Duran Duran, Eddy Grant, The Fearless Four, Fleetwood Mac, Frida, Gang Of Four, Genesis, George Clinton, Grandmaster Flash & The Furious 5, Hall & Oates, Indeep, INXS, Iron Maiden, John Cougar Mellencamp, Kate Bush, Madness, Malcolm McLaren, Marvin Gaye, Men Without Hats, Michael Jackson, Michael McDonald, Modern English, Naked Eyes, New Order, Orange Juice, Peech Boys, The Pretenders, Prince, R.E.M., Shalamar, Sister Nancy, Survivor, Taco, Thomas Dolby, Toto, Yaz

Featuring: Billy Joel, Bonnie Tyler, Corey Hart, Cyndi Lauper, David Bowie, Def Leppard, Dio, Eurythmics, The Fixx, Grandmaster Flash & Melle Mel, Greg Kihn Band, Herbie Hancock, Huey Lewis & The News, Irene Cara, Journey, Kraftwerk, Lionel Richie, Madonna, Mtume, Nena, New Order, Night Ranger, Pat Benatar, The Pointer Sisters, The Police, Quiet Riot, R.E.M., Rick James, Rockwell, The Romantics, Run-DMC, Shannon, The Smiths, Spandau Ballet, Styx, Suicidal Tendencies, Talking Heads, The Tubes, U2, Van Halen, Yes, ZZ Top

Featuring: A-Ha, Animotion, Art of Noise, Billy Ocean, Billy Squier, Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen, Bryan Adams, Cabaret Voltaire, Chaka Khan, Cherrelle, Chicago, Dead or Alive, Deniece Williams, Depeche Mode, Don Henley, Echo & The Bunnymen, General Public, Glenn Frey, Harold Faltermeyer, Husker Du, INXS, Kenny Loggins, Laura Branigan, Madonna, Metallica, New Edition, Newcleus, Ollie & Jerry, Pat Benatar, Paul Hardcastle, Philip Bailey with Phil Collins, Prince, Ray Parker Jr., Rebbie Jackson, REO Speedwagon, Run-D.M.C., Sade, Scandal (featuring Patty Smyth), Scorpions, Sheila E., Strafe, Talk Talk, Tears for Fears, The Cars, The Fleshtones, The Go-Gos, The Minutemen, The Ramones, The Replacements, The Sisters Of Mercy, The Smiths, Thompson Twins, Twisted Sister, U2, Van Halen, Wham!

Featuring: Aretha Franklin, Billy Ocean, Cameo, Commodores, The Cult, The Cure, DeBarge, Dire Straits, Doug E. Fresh & The Get Fresh Crew, Dream Academy, Duran Duran, Echo And The Bunnymen, Eddie Murphy, Faith No More, Grace Jones, Huey Lewis & The News, INXS, Jesus & Mary Chain, Kate Bush, Katrina & The Waves, Killing Joke, LL Cool J, Madonna, Miami Sound Machine, Mike + The Mechanics, Minor Threat, Motley Crue, Mr. Mister, New Order, Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark, The Outfield, Pat Benatar, Pet Shop Boys, Phil Collins, Prince & The Revolution, The Replacements, Robert Palmer, Run-D.M.C., Schoolly D, Simple Minds, Siouxsie & The Banshees, Stacey Q, Starship, Talking Heads, Tears For Fears, Tom Waits, Whitney Houston, Yello

Featuring: The Bangles, Beastie Boys, Berlin, Billy Bragg, Billy Joel, Bon Jovi, Boogie Down Productions, Book Of Love, Bruce Hornsby & The Range, Cutting Crew, Cyndi Lauper, Duran Duran, Eric B. & Rakim, Europe, Fingers Inc., Genesis, Gwen Guthrie, Howard Jones, Human League, Janet Jackson, Lionel Richie, Loose Ends, Madonna, Metallica, Midnight Star, New Order, Nu Shooz, Oran Juice Jones, Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark, Paul Simon, Peter Gabriel, Robbie Nevil, Run-D.M.C., Run-D.M.C. & Aerosmith, Samantha Fox, Slayer, Smithereens, Stan Bush, Steve Winwood, Whistle

Featuring: Aerosmith, Audio Two, Belinda Carlisle, Boogie Down Productions, The Cure, Def Leppard, Depeche Mode, Eazy-E, EPMD, Eric B. & Rakim, Eurythmics, George Michael, Guns N Roses, Heart, INXS, Jody Watley, Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam, LL Cool J, Love And Rockets, Madonna, MARRS, Michael Jackson, Midnight Oil, New Order, Pebbles, Prince, Public Enemy, R.E.M., Rick Astley, Salt N Pepa, Sonic Youth, Starship, T’Pau, Taylor Dayne, Tiffany, U2, Was (Not Was), When In Rome, Whitesnake, Whitney Houston

Review: Raven Stratagem by Yoon Ha Lee

After the ride that was Ninefox Gambit, a reader could be asked how to top that. It’s a question of sequels, and one that often has a disappointing answer. In Raven Stratagem, Yoon Ha Lee shows that they can work. Taking place shortly after the events of the previous volume – one I suggest people go to – the action moves as a ghost of infamous general, the fleet he hijacks, the empire that rules them all , and the belief that goes with the imperial calendar. Much of this universe seems based around the concept of the calendar, with conflict often based on the view of a calendar. 

That’s not to say this is a boring novel. It moves along at a cracking pace, and even after reading the first, still has surprises in it. With empires, large scale battles, military protocols, it ticks all the neccessary ticks for a classic space opera. The writing style is easy to read, yet the concepts are twisted enough to require very careful reading.

Review: The Collapsing Empire by John Scalzi

One of the tropes of modern science fiction is the large interplantary empire. From Asimov’s Foundation, to Lucas’s Star Wars, the Empire and its machinations is one of the cogs that have helped keep the genre going. It is also one of the reasons why the large Empire falling has become a bit of a cliche as well. With a name like The Collapsing Empire, you might be inclined to be a little disappointed with John Scalzi. After reading this novel, you won’t be.

The biggest problem that the large space empire always faces is distance. Scalzi puts forward the idea of the flow, which appear to be a one way worm hole. Power in the empire is at the nexus of these “Flows”. 

It is from here that Scalzi begins a fast paced story of unexpected leaders, disasterous events, and political intrigues. Each chapter is told from one character’s point of view, with all told with a distinctive voice and attitude.  This is clearly the open salvo in a series that promises many surprises, fast paced action, and a few laugh out loud moments. 

Brothers in Business

Two brothers jointly owned a business and both were wise in worldly ways. While dying, one brother instructed his sibling to put half of their combined wealth into the grave with the casket.

The brother reluctantly agreed.

In time his brother died.

At the graveside ceremony the living brother wrote a cheque for half of their assets and placed it in the casket.

George’s Solicitor

George had responded to a call from his solitors, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer’s firm, and was ushered into his office.

“Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked.

“Well, if those are my choices, I guess I’ll take the bad news first”.

“Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars”.

“That’s the bad news?” George was stunned? “If you call that bad, I can’t wait to hear the terrible news”.

“The terrible news is that it’s of you and your secretary”.

We Hate People Episode 18: Holiday in Trumpistan

Can you believe it’s been 5 months since we last had an episode? We can believe it, as we’re lazy buggers, but we’re finally back with an episode dedicated to the new POTUS.

The Show Notes

– We talk Trump – lots of Trump – with some non-confected disagreement even!
– Brief recommendations

Don’t forget we’d love your feedback via the website, Twitter or Facebook.

You can find out how to subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Google Play Music or Stitcher here. We also publish the podcasts on YouTube.

If you like this podcast you may also enjoy our gaming podcast: Flash Point

Gonorrhoea vs Diarrhoea

When her husband passed away, the wife put the usual death notice in the newspaper, but added that he had died of gonorrhoea.

Once the daily newspapers had been delivered, a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly

“You know very well that he died of diarrhoea, not gonorrhoea”.

Replied the widow “Yes, I know that he died of diarrhoea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big sh#t that he really was”

Pay Negotiations

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources rep asked a young engineer fresh out of university “And what starting salary were you looking for?”

The engineer said “In the neighbourhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package”.

The interviewer said “Well, what would you say to a package of 5 week’s vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years… say, a BMW?”

The engineer sat up straight and said “Wow! Are you kidding?”

And the interviewer replied “Yeah, but you started it”.

Bank Robbery Buddies

Two friends were standing in a bank when a pair of robbers entered.

Not only did the thieves clean out the cash registers, but they walked around with bags and ordered everyone to throw their valuables in.

Just as the robbers got to the pair, one of the friends turned to the other and, passing him a bill, said “By the way, Joe, here’s that twenty bucks I owe you”.

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