Archives for 2009

A woman’s week at the gym

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

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MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek God – with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

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TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mil e. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It’s a whole new life for me.

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WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other shit too.

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THURSDAY:
Asshole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn’t help being a half an hour late – it took me that long to tie my shoes.

He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny bitch to find me.

Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine — which I sank.
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FRIDAY:
I hate that bastard Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don’t have any triceps! And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

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SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

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SUNDAY:
I’m having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank God that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun — like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if Bono had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Merged realities – events and issues for virtual worlds

1. Daden Limited have launched an Apollo 11 simulation that’s well worth spending some time checking out. It features Tranquility Base and the Eagle lander, and “allows visitors to follow the footsteps of Armstrong and Aldrin, whilst looking at the videos and photos they took, and finding out about the science experiments they left behind”.

Start here to make your journey and make sure you download the HUD before teleporting to the lunar surface. Spacesuit is optional (I purchased mine for the occasion, and purists will note it’s not an Apollo suit).

I created a rough machinima on my short space walk without the HUD activated:

2. Treet TV (formerly SLCN) have partnered up with recent Linden Prize winner Studio Wikitecture, to “reate a collaborative building environment for bringing new life to Treet’s studio islands”. There are plans to create a documentary about the collaborative process and its outcome, with an early 2010 release date slated.

3. Second Life-based Australian band SpaceJunky are sponsoring a Grid WideTreasure Hunt:

This treasure hunt is about Science Fiction and Fantasie so there will be everything from Star Wars, Dark Crystal, Labyrinths, spaceships, fairys, and anything else you can imagine!

There will be boxes hidden all over SpaceJunky Island including a SpaceJunky crystal with a special SpaceJunky song in it. Yes that’s right FREE! The crystal will play the song when touched. Crystal Gypsy Designs wil have one too with a special meditation song in it composed by Shakti of SpaceJunky.

The hunt runs between 1st August and 17th August.

IM Bloodhex Squeegee for more info.

Speeding

Did you hear about the 83 year old woman who talked herself out of a speeding ticket by telling the young officer that she had to get there before she forgot where she was going?

Makes perfectly good sense to me…..

The Watch – virtual worlds in the news

1. CBS News (USA) – The Obama White House’s First Try At Second Life. “Since entering the White House in January, the Obama administration has made use of a myriad of social networking and Internet communications tools, such as blogs, the YouTube video service and Twitter, to interact with the public. Come Saturday, you can add a virtual world appearance to the list. When President Obama, who is visiting Ghana, speaks to a live audience tomorrow morning, his speech will be streamed on Second Life and Metaplace. These computer-simulated worlds offer 3D avatar-driven environments where participants can use voice or text chat to communicate. In this instance, however, there will be no Obama avatar.”

2. GameZone (USA) – Innovating Genres – Bringing Life to the City. ““City Building” – the term itself doesn’t always inspire excitement in the hearts of most gamers. The average gamer is likely to see the genre as one filled with crunchy details, obsessive micro-management and hours of watching a game that’s seemingly run on auto-pilot. Up until recently, you’d likely find few who would argue with that perception, except fans of the genre themselves, however, but in recent years, independent French developer Monte Cristo set out to change all that. Their original outing in the genre — “City Life,” took the standard city builder, and infused it with “life.” No more were citizens simple numbers to monitor, in City Life, they were living, breathing human beings, with specific wants and needs, and your job as a mayor was to do more than just plonk down buildings. City Life was met with critical and consumer praise – spawning several sequels. Now, Monte Cristo’s taken their 80+ person team (split between Paris and Kiev) and aimed it at the genre again, this time, going much bigger – with true social interactions, online gameplay and features to attract a wider audience than the traditional one of city builder player.”

3. People’s Weekly World (USA) – The impact of homophobia in virtual communities. “A few weeks ago there was a group established on Facebook called “I hate gays” which openly advocated killing gay people. When the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) sent a report through Facebook’s built in reporting system and then urged its Facebook and Twitter followers to do the same, the user was suspended, and the group abandoned and commandeered by pro-gay users in the matter of hours. It seems that real people in those virtual communities, as well as the massive companies that run the platforms, don’t like when people form groups that advocate killing people or targeting groups. Now what happens when you take that model and you turn it to online gaming virtual communities? To illustrate my point, take a look at this video previously highlighted on Kotaku and GayGamer to get a sense of the problem just in online gaming communities. ”

4. CNN (USA) – Virtual cash meets the real world. “While China is seriously cracking down on the exchange of virtual currencies for real cash, virtual economies backed by newfound legitimacy elsewhere are quickly gaining ground in the real world. There’s gold in them there screens: Real-money transactions in virtual worlds are finding new legitimacy. On June 24, 2009, the role-playing game 140 Mafia launched on Twitter, following in the footsteps of highly lucrative games Mob Wars and Mafia Wars on Facebook (and now iPhone) to link virtual-currency exchanges to real-money transactions. In March 2009, MindArk — creator of the MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role-playing game) Entropia, where one player famously bought an island for US$26,500 in 2004 — saw its wholly owned subsidiary Mind Bank granted a banking license from the Swedish Financial Supervisory Authority.”

5. CIO (Australia) – AI-powered customer support robots bring human touch to virtual world. ““More Human Than Human” may have been the slogan of the fictional Tyrell Corporation in the sci-fi film classic Blade Runner, but it could equally apply to Australian company MyCyberTwin, a provider of artificial-intelligence powered virtual staff.
MyCyberTwin technology is designed to allow almost anyone to build a virtual, artificial human — called a CyberTwin — which can handle such tasks as personalised customer support, client sales or even entertainment and companionship. CyberTwins can take the form of a clone of yourself, or a representative of your company, and they can live in almost any digital environment, including Web sites, virtual worlds, blogs, social network pages and mobile phones.”

6. New York TImes (USA) – The Next Financial Crisis: Virtual Banks. “By now, the financial woes of Lehman, Bear Stearns, Washington Mutual, and the many other troubled banks is old news. But we may need to start preparing for another round of bank failures … in the virtual world. If indeed it happens, a character named Ricdic will likely be to blame. Ricdic is part of Eve Online, which I have never heard of, but according to this BBC news report “has about 300,000 players all of whom inhabit the same online universe. The game revolves around trade, mining asteroids, and the efforts of different player-controlled corporations to take control of swathes of virtual space.” Ricdic, according to the article, runs a large ebank at the site, and pilfered some virtual funds, traded them to other players for real money, and made a down payment on a house and paid off medical bills.”

7. PBS (USA) – 5 Ideas to Transform Newspaper Sites. “I sometimes wonder whether we are held captive by old school thinking. At our newspapers at Mediafin, we are in the process of integrating web operations with the print publication, a move which I fully endorse. There’s one major risk to this: that we might end up seeing the web as just another way to distribute newspaper articles rather than a radically new opportunity. People who have spent years writing for print newspapers could easily fall victim to the horseless carriage syndrome — the belief that they can continue to apply the same thinking that they applied to an old technology to a new, fundamentally different one. At the turn of the century, many saw the automobile as a new variation on the horse-and-carriage, not realizing that the car was in many ways very different. Just as cars are fundamentally different from horseless carriages, or cinema is fundamentally different from theater, the web is fundamentally different from newspapers.”

8. Times of India (India) – Social Networks and Fashion Trends. “Do friends sport the same style in shoes or see the same movies because of their similar tastes, which is why they became friends in the first place? Or once friendship is established, do individuals influence each other to adopt similar behaviours? Social scientists don’t know for sure. They’re still trying to understand the role social influence plays in spreading of trends because the real world doesn’t keep track of how people acquire new items or preferences. But the virtual world Second Life does. It is a free 3D virtual world where users can socialise, connect and create using voice and text chat. ”

9. Daily Kos (USA) – A Soldier’s Peace, A (Rescheduled) Documentary Premiere in Second Life. “etroots Nation in Second Life and Virtually Speaking had originally scheduled the “in-world” Second Life premiere of peace activist Marshall Thompson’s remarkable film A Soldier’s Peace on June 20, but due to a series of technical roadblocks culminating in a hard drive crash on the system from which we had planned to host the film, we were unable to premiere the film that day. However, we went ahead with our scheduled interview with Marshall, and are we ever glad we did. Marshall, an Iraq War veteran, is a passionate, warm, and kindly advocate for peace with a terrific sense of humor. ”

10. Chicago Now (USA) – Patrick Lichty: Summer of Love 2.0 (Tuesday night performance only). “Making good art with Second Life, Twitter, or Facebook sounds like a dicey proposition, but Patrick Lichty’s Summer of Love 2.0 commandeers all three social networking sites, making good art that uses technology to evaluate the depth and sincerity of the social commitment Web 2.0 fosters both on and offline. Tuesday night’s performance featured a re-performance of Yoko Ono and John Lennon’s Bed-In, staged in Second Life by Second Front, a virtual performance collective. This event kicked off the weeklong project, which turns the MCA’s McCormick Tribune Orientation Gallery (the 12×12 space) into living installation where Lichty hopes to blur the boundaries between his online community and the MCA’s undulating community of viewers. ”

Virtual sex steps up a notch: JoyRiact

Today whilst completing out weekly news roundup, I stumbled across a press release from a Swiss company promoting the late 2009 release of a suite of net-connected sex toys under the banner JoyRiact. The press release contains the usual healthy dose of hyperbole, but it seems Second Life is key market and JoyRiact claim to have some events planned in-world.

The demo video explains it all pretty well really:

The press release also rightly recognises there are already options available in this area – it’ll be interesting to see if this product captures a significant share of what’s a fairly hard to quantify, but likely significant market.

When a woman lies

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “My dear child, why are you crying?” The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

“Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked The seamstress replied, “No.”
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.

“Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, “No.”

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble

“Is this your thimble ?” the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, “Yes.” The Lord was pleased with the woman’s honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, “Why are you crying?” “Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!”

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney.” Is this your husband?” the Lord asked.

“Yes,” cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!” The seamstress replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.

Then if I said ‘no’ to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I’m not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT’S why I said ‘yes’ to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is:

Whenever a woman lies, it’s for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That’s our story, and we’re sticking to it.

Signed,

All Us Women

World of Warcraft – ‘Well Read’ Achievement

well-read-achievementAs a long-term World of Warcraft player, I’m still regularly astounded at the complexity and depth of the ‘game’. For the past year, the Achievements system has helped to encapsulate the scope of WoW. At time of writing, there are 931 achievements that range from pulling off 100 victories in a battleground to kissing a range of WoW fauna.

One of these achievements is titled Well Read and requires the reading of 42 books spread around different parts of Azeroth. It’s a time-consuming quest but one that gives you the opportunity to read a lot of WoW lore if that’s what takes your fancy. If not, then it’s just another grind for an achievement 😉

Any Level 70+ character is likely to be able to pick up the quest solo, with the biggest challenge being Scholomance.

I recorded the location of each book as I did it, for your benefit – I tried to do it in the most time-efficient way as far as flight time etc. Of course, the list below applies to Alliance characters, Horde characters may want to check here for an alternate approach.

Onto the list:

Ref Name Where Specifics
1 The Alliance of Lordaeron Stormwind Keep – Royal Library On Table
2 Aftermath of the Second War Stormwind Keep – Royal Library On Table
3 The Guardians of Tirisfal Stormwind Keep – Royal Library On Table
4 Aegwynn and the Dragon Hunt Stormwind Keep – Royal Library On Floor
5 Beyond the Dark Portal Stormwind Keep – Royal Library 2nd Table
6 Civil War in the Plaguelands Stormwind Keep – Royal Library On Floor
7 The Kaldorei & the Well of Eternity Stormwind Keep – Royal Library On Pillar
8 The New Horde Stormwind Keep – Royal Library On 2nd Pillar
9 The Dark Portal and the Fall of Stormwind Stormwind Keep – War Room On Table
10 The Battle of Grim Batol Stormwind Keep – War Room 2nd Table
11 War of the Spider Stormwind Keep – War Room 3rd Table
12 Archimonde’s Return Stormwind – Library – The Canals On Table
  and the Flight to Kalimdor    
13 Mount Hyjal and Illidan’s Gift Stormwind – Library – The Canals On Table
14 Lethargy of the Orcs Elwynn Forest – Eastvale Logging 2nd Floor House
15 Kil’Jaeden and the Shadow Pact Duskwood – Darkshire Inn Upstairs
16 The Founding of Quel’Thalas Duskwood – Darkshire Inn Upstairs
17 The Birth of the Lich King Duskwood – Town Hall On Table (Mayor)
18 The Last Guardian Westfall – Sentinel Hill – Inn On Table
19 The Scourge of Lordaeron Booty Bay – ‘Sea Wolf’ McKinley Bottom Floor
20 The Twin Empires Booty Bay – ‘Sea Wolf’ McKinley Bottom Floor
21 Empires’ Fall Booty Bay – ‘Sea Wolf’ McKinley Bottom Floor
22 Wrath of Soulflayer Booty Bay – ‘Sea Wolf’ McKinley Bottom Floor
23 The Sentinels and the Long Vigil Booty Bay – ‘Sea Wolf’ McKinley Top Floor
24 Sunwell – The Fall of Quel’Thalas Booty Bay – Salty Sailor Tavern 2nd Floor
25 Ironforge – The Awakening of the Dwarves Ironforge – Hall of Explorers Library Table
26 War of the Three Hammers Ironforge – Hall of Explorers Library Table
27 Arathor and the Troll Wars Ironforge – Hall of Explorers Library Table
28 The Old Gods and the Ordering of Azeroth Ironforge – Hall of Explorers Library Table
29 Charge of the Dragonflights Ironforge – Hall of Explorers Library Table
30 The Rise of the Horde Ironforge – Hall of Explorers  
31 The Invasion of Draenor Western Plagulands -Scholomance First room (down)
32 Exile of the High Elves Western Plagulands -Scholomance First room (down)
33 The Seven Kingdoms Western Plagulands -Scholomance The Reliquary
34 Icecrown and Frozen Throne Western Plagulands -Scholomance The Reliquary
35 Sargeras and The Betrayal Western Plagulands -Scholomance The Reliquary
36 Kel’Thuzad and the Forming of the Scourge Western Plagulands -Scholomance The Reliquary
37 The Lich King Triumphant Western Plagulands -Scholomance The Reliquary
38 Rise of the Blood Elves Darnassus – Craftsmen’s Terrace B/W Cooking & First Aid
39 The War of the Ancients Darnassus – Craftsmen’s Terrace B/W Cooking & First Aid
40 The World Tree and the Emerald Dream Darnassus – Craftsmen’s Terrace North most building
41 The Betrayer Ascendant Darnassus – Tradesman’s Terrace Back row, behind Cloth
42 Old Hatreds – The Colonization of Kalimdor Gadgetzan At Flightmaster

Weekend Whimsy

1. Shrink Wrapped – avatars needing psychiatric help

2. Mitch Triellis – Second Life Belfast

3. Waiting for my Tomorrow: A Love Story in Second Life

Another Perfect World

In late June, the UK’s Channel 4 ran a documentary called Another Perfect World. It’s a well structured look at virtual environments with a focus on the tensions in developing a ‘utopia’, with World of Warcraft, Second Life, Metaplace and Lineage scrutinised. A 30-minute preview can be viewed right here:

Ponderisms

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.

“Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address ?????

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