Archives for 2009

How is Norma?

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph ‘s Hospital.

She timidly asked, ‘Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?’

The operator said, I’ll l be glad to help, dear .

What’s the name and room number?’

The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, ‘Norma Findlay Room 302.’

The operator replied, ‘Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse .

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, ‘Oh, I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing very well.  Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal, and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday.’

The grandmother said, ‘Thank you. That’s wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news.’

The operator replied, ‘You’re more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?’

The grandmother said, ‘No, I’m Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me shit..’ 

Superstruct: initial results

superstruct-firstreport In October 2008 we covered Superstruct, a forecasting MMO with some very real-world aims: to determine the challenges facing humanity in 2019.

This week, the group behind Superstruct, The Institute for the Future (IFTF), released some initial research as part of its ongoing mission to use the MMO as a means of communicating key global challenges. The overview is:

For the past five months, IFTFs Ten-Year Forecast Team has been analyzing the collective body of Superstruct work, in light of other major perspective essays on new forms of governance, networked citizens, geoengineering, and superstructed realities. We have focused our Superstruct research on the following question: What is the next major evolutionary phase for human organization?

And today, we are pleased to share with you the first round of findings.

These Superstruct findings are the first in the IFTF Annual TYF Superstruct Series. With these we present to you the first 50-Year Scenario, “The Long Crisis” and the “Superstruct Strategies”, 7 actionable strategies that emerged during our game analysis. Over the next few months, we will be publishing additional Superstruct maps and perspectives online. You will be able to follow the series and download all of the research at our 10 Year Forecast RSS feed

You can download the 5.2 meg PDF of the research here.

The Watch – virtual worlds in the news

1. BBC (UK) – Virtual worlds and web ‘merging’. “Second Life boss, Mark Kingdon, said identity is key in virtual worlds. “You take one avatar and you cross multiple virtual worlds… that is going to be a really powerful and important part of the virtual world future,” predicted Mark Kingdon, the boss of Second Life. This online fantasy space had 1.4m users over the past two months, out of its 17m registered users, who can access to products and places replicated from real life. The residents can spend their time visiting exact replicas of actual tourist hotspots, shops, or even bizarre fantasy lands. Videos on the site’s homepage aim to help users find content that interests them within the vast 3D environment. Second Life may have been one of the first virtual worlds of its kind, but six years on, the competition is fierce.”

2. USA Today (USA) – In virtual worlds, kids just want to grow up. “While Peter Pan never wanted to grow up, it seems that today tweens (kids ages 8 to 12) are anxious to do so, at least in virtual worlds. Banking on kids’ desire to play at “growing up” is a new online game called SuperSecret.
The site was created to give kids a place to go after they outgrow the mega-popular virtual worlds of Club Penguin and Webkinz but before they are ready for the more adult online games of World of Warcraft or the social networking sites Facebook and MySpace. SuperSecret entices kids with the wish fulfillment of living a virtual life that ages them a lot quicker than in real life. After playing the game for about 30 days, kids will age from the entry age of 10 years to age 15. With each birthday comes new privileges and things to do, as well as access to new parts of the virtual world.”

3. CNET (USA) – Hacking online games a widespread problem. “It will likely come as no surprise to anyone familiar with virtual worlds and online games that they can be hacked. But what might come as a shock is the sheer breadth of types of exploits that are possible. That was the broad message of a Thursday panel called, appropriately, “Exploiting Online Games” at the RSA 2009 security conference here. Moderated by Gary McGraw, CTO of software security consulting firm Cigital and an author of several books, the panel took the audience on a deep dive into the diverse ways that hackers and others have figured out to either skim real money or to gain game play advantages not available to normal players.”

4. Touch Arcade (USA) – ‘World of Warcraft’ on an iPhone… For Real? “Most of you have probably seen World of Warcraft-on-iPhone claims/videos/mock-ups before, but this time it looks like it might actually be true. Someone posted this YouTube video of World of Warcraft running on an iPhone.”

5. Federal News Radio (USA) – Virtual Worlds: the next-generation of web 2.0. “Imagine being a soldier in Saudi Arabia who steps into a holographic tent for the training he needs to pass the sergeant’s exam. Or an emergency manager in a rural Oregon county who goes to a telepresence room where her avatar meets with the avatar of the state emergency management director to negotiate for badly needed relief supplies after a flood. That’s the promise of “virtual worlds”, a term which describes such popular web destinations as Second Life and sites where users can meet and interact in graphical environments that exist only in a computer. Today, some of the best minds in government, private industry, and science are wrapping up the 2-day, 2nd annual Federal Consortium of Virtual Worlds conference. The meeting is being held in the analog space of the National Defense University, at historic Fort McNair in southwest D.C., but there are also virtual participants online watching through webcasts, and in a number of virtual communities, as well as on Facebook and Twitter.”

6. The Guardian (UK) – A whole new world of studying. “There’s not a red pen in sight when Russell Stannard marks his master’s students’ essays – but it’s not because the students never make mistakes. Stannard doesn’t use a pen, or even paper, to give his students feedback. Instead – and in keeping with his role as principal lecturer in multimedia and ICT – he turns on his computer, records himself marking the work on-screen, then emails his students the video. When students open the video, they can hear Stannard’s voice commentary as well as watch him going through the process of marking. The resulting feedback is more comprehensive than the more conventional notes scrawled in the margin, and Stannard, who works at the University of Westminster, now believes it has the potential to revolutionise distance learning.”

7. Sydney Morning Herald (Australia) – Second Life to banish racy content. “Second Life plans to clean up the streets of its virtual mainland by providing stricter control of adult content and sending racy material to a separate faux continent. The announcement comes as Second Life creator Linden Labs moves to enhance the virtual world’s viability as a venue for education, conferences, and business.”

8. Virtual Worlds News (USA) – Wiggles Release Pseudo-World For Preschoolers. “I started my day off with some WiggleTime, the new pseudo-virtual world from the very energetic child’s group The Wiggles. I call it a pseudo-virtual world becuase it’s described as a virtual world and hews to that metaphor, but it’s a single-user experience for now. ”

9. Sydney Morning Herald (Australia) – Second Life’s second wind. “Doomsayers rashly declared it “dead and buried” and the media lost interest, but virtual world Second Life continues to prosper as the real economy falters, a virtual world commentator says. After a few years of immense hype, reports late last year chronicled Second Life’s apparent malaise, as companies faced having to ditch their virtual presence as users lost interest.”

10. The Age (Australia) – Your Turn: eKidna World. “You have to admire 40-year-old Brisbane mum Karen Orford. The response from most parents fearful of the impact of games and online worlds on their kids is to ban them from the household, but instead, Karen put her house and $300,000 on the line to build a kid-friendly virtual world. The result is eKidna World, a safe and fun online site designed for 8-12 year olds that is uniquely Australian, and includes games like surfing, fishing, kangaroo racing, snowball throwing and sheep herding. “

Weekend Whimsy

1. New Babbage, A Second Life Steampunk Community. Photography by Eddi Haskell

2. Helm & Nimoe

3. SAvro Lancaster Second Life

Skoolaborate: Linden Prize finalist

Linden Lab have announced the finalists for their US $10000 Linden Prize, and amongst the handful of finalists is Skoolaborate,

By its nature, Skoolaborate is an international venture, but some Australian educators are key driving forces behind the project. Good luck to all the finalists – all illustrate some of the significant good coming out of virtual worlds.

The monetisation of Metaplace

metaplace_april2009 The Alphaville Herald have an interesting post on the subscription options being considered for Metaplace.

In the month or so since I last spent some time in Metaplace, its further growth in users and related new worlds has become apparent. It’s a platform that has real potential to earn dollars for its creators, particularly given the content creation options it provides. One key point I’m encouraged on is Metaplace’s commitment to free accounts. It’s an approach that’s served Second Life well, as it has other 2D worlds like Habbo.

The combination of the content creation and what will hopefully be attractive pricing plus free accounts should set Metaplace up nicely. Hell, when the Alphaville Herald is positive, Metaplace must be doing something different to the norm.

Metaverse Aid

Late last year I wrote on Metaverse Aid, which is a team on the Kiva website.

I just wanted to take the opportunity to encourage anyone involved with virtual worlds to join the Metaverse Aid team and make a real difference to entrepreneurs in developing countries. Each loan is just that, a loan, and you can reinvest the amount paid back in another entrepreneur.

Read more about Kiva and Metaverse Aid here.

Testicle Operation

The doctor said, ‘Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.

You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.’

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for.

He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men’s clothing store and thought, ‘That’s what I need… A new suit.’

He entered the shop and told the salesman, ‘I’d like a new suit.’

The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said, ‘Let’s see… size 44 long.’

Joe laughed, ‘That’s right, how did you know?’

‘Been in the business 60 years!’ the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, ‘How about a new shirt?’

Joe thought for a moment and then said, ‘Sure.’

The salesman eyed Joe and said, ‘Let’s see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.’

Joe was surprised, ‘That’s right, how did you know?’

‘Been in the business 60 years.’

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, ‘How about some new underwear?’

Joe thought for a moment and said, ‘Sure.’

The salesman said, ‘Let’s see… size 36.

Joe laughed, ‘Ah ha! I got you! I’ve worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.’

The salesman shook his head, ‘You can’t wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.’

Merged realities – events and issues for virtual worlds

1. Linden Lab have released a PDF Quickstart Guide for new Second Life users.

2. Dancing Ink Productions have released a new documentary about a virtual journalism project: The Virtual Newsroom of the American University in Cairo. You can watch it here:

3. Sky News in the UK has pulled the plug on their island in Second Life. As Sigmund Leominster says:

Virtual world Cassandras can eagerly point to this as being further evidence that “the end is nigh,” whereas more sober commentators will simply point out that the economics of news reporting and delivery in Second Life is very different from real life, and spending lots of money to have virtual world analogs of real life newsrooms doesn’t necessarily make any financial sense.

4. Tateru Nino has an interesting post on human nature and virtual environments over at Massively.

Why women are crabby

We started to ‘bud’ in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn’t even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn’t end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn’t spend the entire day leaning over Brother John . Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary’s Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a whole watermelon and we pee’d our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, ‘Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar . Calm down and push. ‘Just one more good push’ (more like 10), warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the
%$#*@*#!* hubby and doctor square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 pound bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that ‘cute’ wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then come their ‘Teen Years.’ Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40’s – while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

So we progress into the grand finale: ‘The Menopause,’ the Grandmother of all womanhood. It’s either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned ‘buds’ or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life’s cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks…

So, while I love being a woman, ‘Womanhood’ would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. You think women are the ‘weaker sex?’ Yeah right. Bite me.

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