Archives for 2009

How to stop church gossip

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business..
Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one after noon.

She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that every one seeing it there WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING !
Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn’t explain, defend, or deny.
He said nothing..

Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred’s house … walked home . . .and left it there all night.

(You gotta love Frank!)

Episode 10 of TMJ Podcast – Another Perfect World (Jorien van Nes)

It’s been a few months since the last podcast but we’ve had the perfect excuse to produce Episode 10, with the Metaplace launch of the virtual worlds documentary, Another Perfect World. I received a preview copy of the movie yesterday and was impressed with its breadth and quality.

The podcast is devoted to an interview with Another Perfect World‘s Co-Director, Jorien van Nes, who provides her thoughts on the film and virtual worlds more broadly. Enjoy:

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As mentioned in the podcast, the first 30 minutes can be viewed here:

If you want to see the full movie, go to the Metaplace screening at noon (Pacific Standard Time) Thursday September 10th.

Four Worms

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol – Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke – Dead

Third worm in chocolate syrup – Dead

Fourth worm in good clean soil – Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation –

What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

“As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!”

That pretty much ended the service —

World of Warcraft: the ‘crack’ myth

firemage-sept2009Before I question some of the hyperbole floating around the mainstream media over the ‘World of Warcraft is like crack’ story, I have to make a disclosure. I do play World of Warcraft and am in fact a Level 80 Fire Mage. Snigger all you want, but there’s dozens, if not hundreds of you reading this that play WoW too, and you love it. More on that later.

The latest iteration of the ‘WoW as Crack’ story, finally picked up by the mainstream Australian media, is that a UK-based psychiatrist is asking WoW’s creator Blizzard Software to cough up some money to assist counsellors who want to get to know the game better. The theory is, once they understand what it is they’re dealing with, they can tailor interventions better. As a health professional myself, it actually makes a lot of sense. Without knowing the environment a person with a problematic behaviour interacts with, it’s difficult to fathom their motivations or triggers for what they are doing. Blizzard Software, not surprisingly, haven’t made a comment on the issue. They’re not about to trumpet the need for counselors to be embedded within their game, even though there have been some significant individual examples pop up here and there.

Some would argue Blizzard, or any game creator, aren’t under any obligation to assist the proportion of their clientele who play at harmful levels. Others will claim there’s as much a duty of care as say a tobacco company may have to its customers. The reality probably sits somewhere in the middle. It wouldn’t hurt Blizzard to fork out a few thousand dollars to assist health professionals trying to get their head around why a teenager or adult wants to spend 16 hours a day undertaking raids or quests. As a corporate citizen it’d give Blizzard some credibility and let them influence the agenda of how big the issue really is. As a proportion of its more than 11 million users who pay US$12.99 per month, truly addicted users would only make up a tiny percentage. Add to that those who compulsively play (there’s a difference) and you have a bigger population but still far from the majority. There’s no doubt there are people whose lives are seriously damaged by addiction to massive multiplayer games – it’s just that they’re well and truly outnumbered by those who’ve found a whole new social outlet or those exploring the learning opportunities.

Which brings me back to those of you who play WoW: next time you log in, type “/played” in your chat window and be dismayed or amazed at how many days you’ve been a Troll Shaman. I put in around 25 days of time per year in WoW, which probably makes me borderline compulsive. That said, I’ve substituted 2-3 hours per day of Australian Idol and Rove for an activity that requires strategy, socialisation and hand/eye coordination. How is that undesirable behaviour?

The Watch – virtual worlds in the news

1. The Age (Australia) – Students learning to be virtually anyone. “ASHAV Patel does not look like his online avatar, an athletic character with Japanese-style cartoon body, fox tail and jet pack. Likewise, Solomon Gebru’s tall, blond avatar – a rendering of Dragonball Z, the popular anime character – looks nothing like the quietly spoken boy who came to Australia nearly three years ago from Ethiopia. Quynh Chu’s online persona is taller than her petite creator. Henry Hoang’s is a fox.”

2. Reuters (USA) – Virtual detectives stalk in-game spammers. “Gamers competing against rivals around the globe in online multiplayer games have a new force protecting them — teams of virtual detectives. While some companies cause havoc with PC users via e-mail spam and viruses, a new type of spam company is targeting the huge worlds of massively multiplayer online (MMO) videogames like Activision Blizzard’s “World of Warcraft.” In-game characters controlled by individuals working for spam companies infiltrate these virtual worlds and bombard players with unsolicited ads for the sale of in-game virtual items like swords and even playable characters.”

3. The Wrap (USA) – Virtual Worlds Are Not Just Time-Wasters. “In most Q&As after my documentary on virtual worlds, “Second Skin,” I’m met with the same question, “Why spend time in virtual worlds?” I think it’s like asking, “How can you hang out with your friends for so long?” For one thing, there are few places where we are not forced to be ourselves — the anonymity we arrive to in virtual worlds is empowering. Through it, we’re able to engage others without the burden of someone recognizing us, stereotyping us, or seeing us. (Just ask celebrities like Jimmy Fallon, Vin Diesel and Mila Kunis, among others, who long in like everyone else.)”

4. Los Angeles Times (USA) – Robots + virtual worlds = Robini-i. “The problem with robots is that they tend to do the same thing over and over. That’s great if it’s a robot that builds cars but boring if it’s a toy. This is something Sony learned with its Aibo robotic dog years ago. The Aibo had a small but dedicated group of hardware hackers who took joy in programming the robot to customize its movements, to play soccer or do synchronized dance moves. Alas, there were not enough hackers in the world to keep Aibo alive, and Sony put the product to sleep in 2006.”

5. Wired (USA) – A ‘Second Life’ for NATO Staffers. “NATO’s got a new plan for training up employees and running the alliance’s day-to-day business: create a virtual world. That’s right: The organization is after software models that would simulate its real-world headquarters (pictured here), as well as NATO’s North American command center, the Headquarters Supreme Allied Command Transformation in Norfolk, Va. The 3D programs would be used for training purposes and meetings, and NATO hopes they’ll improve staff communication and productivity, while circumventing “the inhibitions to collaboration posed by physical distance and time zones.”

6. The Globe and Mail (Canada) – Queen’s Goes Virtual. “I got a press release the other day from Queen’s University about a new initiative their faculty of education is undertaking on the uber-popular online world of Second Life. Turns out the faculty has purchased a virtual “island” and filled it with replicas of their real-life Queen’s campus buildings. (For those of you who aren’t familiar with Second Life, it’s a sort of virtual world where “residents” can pretty much do whatever they want. There are about 13-million such residents). The folks at Queen’s believe that virtual worlds such as Second Life are the future of education. The idea is that teachers can use these tools to recreate, say, a chunk of ancient Greece, or have their students virtually sit through a Shakespeare play during the Globe theatre’s heyday.”

7. Daily Pilot (USA) – New university site to focus on gaming. “Who said you can’t treat your college education like a game? UC Irvine’s school of information and computer science is aiming to do just that, with the establishment of the Center for Computer Games and Virtual Worlds, school officials announced Tuesday. The center, with the help of more than 20 faculty members, will aim to expand campus-wide research on the various social and technological qualities of games and virtual worlds.”

8. Los Angeles Times (USA) – ‘Gamer,’ ‘Surrogates,’ ‘Avatar’ and the meaning of (second) life. “In the old days, Hollywood tried to make thrillers that got under your skin — today it’s more about films that get you out of your skin. In a sign of the times, this Friday the blood-splattered “Gamer” begins a wave of sci-fi films that take the concepts of second life and video games into dark corners of the digital age. “Gamer” presents a world where modern flesh-and-blood gladiators (among them Gerard Butler of “300” fame) and sex slaves are controlled by a paying public sitting in front of computer screens in the leering privacy of their own homes.”

9. Stars and Stripes (USA) – A virtual world for veterans. “Pull up a virtual chair and take a load off. That’s what one researcher wants troops and veterans to do inside Chicoma Lodge, a virtual gathering spot on the Internet. The lodge is the central point of “Coming Home,” a project created by Jacquelyn Morie, who teaches at the Institute for Creative Technologies at the University of Southern California. “It’s a VFW of the 21st century,” Morie said in a phone interview this summer. Morie is building the Chicoma Lodge inside Second Life, a virtual world on the Internet that allows people to meet, play games, shop, build dream homes, hike, vacation, play music, even date. Each person has a virtual self called an avatar that can roam from place to place to look for new activities and friends.”

10. Reuters (USA) – Starting Today: 3Di, Inc. Enables 3D Virtual Internet Shopping Experiences by Deploying 3Di OpenSim Enterprise to SANWA 3D INTERNET LAB. “3Di, Inc., which develops and offers 3D Internet solutions (Head office: Shibuya-ku, Tokyo; Representative Director and CEO: Satoshi Koike; hereinafter referred to as 3Di), is proud to announce that 3Di OpenSim* Enterprise, 3Di’s server software for construction of 3D virtual worlds for enterprises, has been deployed to Sanwa Direct, the Internet shopping site run by SANWA SUPPLY INC. SANWA SUPPLY INC. is a major company which develops and wholesales computer supplies and peripherals. ”

Beautiful Kate – imminent debut at Toronto Film Festival

jungle-bar Just a heads-up to Canadian readers (who make up a decent slice of readers outside Australia and New Zealand). Beautiful Kate, the Rachel Ward directed feature with a small cameo by numerous avatars, is debuting outside Australia at the Toronto International Film Festival on Friday the 11th September at 8.30pm.

As we’ve said before, it’s a confronting film but one that seems to be getting widespread praise. It’s broken the 1.1 million dollar mark in its first three weeks locally (in only a handful of cinemas), so it’ll be interesting to see what buzz it generates in Toronto. Hopefully it will create the momentum for release in other countries.

So the call goes out to Canada: get along to see Beautiful Kate, and if you like it, spread the word 😉 Hell, Toronto isn’t that far from a lot of areas of the United States either, and with the extensive program on offer it’d make for a hell of a weekend.

For those that haven’t seen it already, you can view a snippet of the larger Second Life scene here.

Weekend Whimsy

1. Recursive Life

2. SL-Octo Mom – A Second Life Spoof

3. A New Contraption – Boards of Canada – Second Life

Man of the House

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, ‘You Can Be THE Man of Your House.’

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, ‘From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?’

The wife replied, ‘The f*ckin’ funeral director would be my first guess.’

Be who you are & say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter & those who matter don’t mind?

The Mugging

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 05-27-09, 1:43 A M EST.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend, threatening our lives and me.

You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings.

I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I’d like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.

My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.

Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head wasn’t it?

I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother, or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you’d done. Then I Went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people’s in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Long’s Drugstore, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink “pimp mobile” that was parked at the curb … after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver’s side of the car.

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you … but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you’ve chosen to pursue in life.

Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,
Alex

Helpful Post Office Workers

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Sincerely, Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars.

By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:

Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.
Sincerely, Edna

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