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Little Johnny’s at it again

August 17, 2009 by Leave a Comment

Little Johnny’s at it again….. A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’ After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?’ ‘No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!’

* * * * * * * * * * *

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ‘Why do you do that, mummy?’ he asked. ‘To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Little Johnny. ‘Giving up?’

* * * * * * * * * * *

The maths teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said,
‘Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?’ Little Johnny quickly replied, ‘NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!’

* * * * * * * * * * *

Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. ‘Yes,’ said the policeman ‘The detectives want very badly to capture him.’Little Johnny asked, ‘Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture ?’

* * * * * * * * * * *

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’ His father replied, ‘Because when I’m buying horses,I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, ‘Dad, I think the phone technician guy wants to buy Mum .’

Filed Under: Email Joke Graveyard, Kids

Linden Lab founder and CEO give a glimpse of Second life’s future

August 16, 2009 by 4 Comments

mlindenDaniel Voyager has tweeted the keynotes from M and Philip Linden at SLCC 2009. You can view M Linden’s 104 presentation slides here.

Key tweets from Daniel that interested me in particular were:

1. Philip Linden

There will be lots of change. The prairie where we are now can become New York City

Hmm, interesting perspective. Some people actually like living on the prairies – this has the smell of progress at expense of lifestyle all around it. I do see the point but it’s an unfortunate metaphor.

Things are changing extremely rapidly and the impact will be revolutionary not evolutionary

Extremely common corporate speak that pretty much says the same thing as the first point.

Try and understand we’re at the very beginning, we’re going to have to weather tremendous change

See points one and two above – I’m waiting for the ‘duck and cover’ lecture.

We are at the very beginning. We’ll not like all the changes. It is inevitable. Try to work with us, let go a bit

I get the picture Philip, I really do. How about some vision behind the revolution warning system? To be fair, I’m sure he said a lot more than what Daniel was able to Tweet, but there’s still a lot of ‘worlds in crisis’ talk.

To scale large, we need: More decentraliztion of services. But we have “right napkin drawings”

I’m giving the benefit of the doubt on this one, assuming he means the bright, radically changed future in store. If he meant that the ongoing organic growth of Second Life is still reliant on good ‘napkin drawings’, then I hope some people at SLCC in person threw things.

2. M Linden

We’re coming out of the trough of disillusionment. In the middle of a top to bottom renovation

The Trough of Disillusionment – that has to be a movie or album title if it isn’t already. Snap it up while you can! Or was it the title of the focus group report after the introduction of Jar Jar Binks into the Star Wars franchise?

We’re at SL 1.0 heading to 2.0. We probaly need to get to 10.0 for billion users

Hard to argue with this. That said, I think the game will have changed so irretrievably in the next few years that the idea of Second Life having a billion users may be just a little fanciful in what’s likely to be one big field of competitors,

SL will bring more of the web into second life and more of second life into the web

Absolutely – it’ll be how embeddable Second Life is that really determines its ongoing success.

Overall, there’s not a lot surprising in the details: you’d expect a CEO and Board member to cite the need for ongoing good growth, a commitment to innovation and an upbeat assessment on the future. With the cynicism meter lowered a little, it’s fair to say M Linden has overseen some improvements in the usability and stability of Second Life. Add to that the ongoing good growth in the number of residents and the overall economy and it seems the revolution may happen. Whether it’s a bloodless one is yet to be seen.

Filed Under: General News, Op-ed, Virtual Worlds Tagged With:

Three Blondes

August 14, 2009 by Leave a Comment

Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol.

The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said,
“So y’all want to be cops, huh?”

The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder.
Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said,
“To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice
things such as distinguishing features and oddities, such as scars and so forth.”

So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.
“Now,” he said, “did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?”

The blonde immediately said, “Yes, I did. He has only one eye!”

The detective shook his head and said, “Of course he has only one eye in this picture!
It’s a profile of his face! You’re dismissed!”

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds,
pulled it back and said, “What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?”

“Yes! He only has one ear!”

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed,
“Didn’t you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man’s face!
Of course you can only see one ear!! You’re excused too!”

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said,
“This is probably a waste of time, but…” He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it,
saying, “All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?”

The blonde said, “I sure did. This man wears contact lenses.”

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.

He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, “You’re absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts!
How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?”

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, “Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can’t wear glasses.”

Filed Under: Email Joke Graveyard, The Gender Wars Tagged With:

Weekend Whimsy

August 14, 2009 by Leave a Comment

1. California Legacy in SL – Episode 4: Dickens in Camp by Bret Harte

2. Second Life Tribute To RichGirl Starring Oceanna Gable,Neveah Niu, MentalKoas Akina, Evalucia Smalls

3. Second Life- Ice Caverns Gallery – August / September – 2009

Filed Under: General News, User-generated, Virtual Worlds Tagged With:

VastPark ‘vs’ Second Life: is it really a contest?

August 13, 2009 by 3 Comments

vastpark Serge Soudoplatoff is a French entrepreneur and VastPark investor I had the opportunity of spending a morning with on his recent Australian visit. He has written an interesting piece comparing Second Life and VastPark from an IT architecture viewpoint. There’s not a lot to disagree with, but I do wonder whether VastPark is going to gain the momentum it needs to ensure its arguably superior architecture gets the widespread adoption it may deserve.

It’s an increasingly aging comparison, but it’s like the VHS vs Beta days – in the end it comes down to popularity and in that respect, VastPark currently isn’t in the game when compared to Second Life. The test for the underdog is to secure that first big win in market share – it’s a strategy I have no doubt is being explored by VastPark in parallel with the very methodical approach to development displayed over recent years. Not that it should be a linear competition: it’s the ability for any company to offer a highly interoperable platform that’s likely to have ongoing success.

Additionally, I don’t believe VastPark see themselves in the ‘keeper of the world’ role that Linden Lab occupies. In that respect, Metaplace is probably a better comparison, with the end-user purchasing a world and using the supplied tools and plugins to create. Second Life certainly has content creation at its core, but Linden Lab also run the ‘government’ and economy, with the myriad of ramifications that has. VastPark will no doubt have it’s own terms of service, but I’d be surprised if they don’t have a different focus than Linden Lab’s.

Without wanting to sound like a fence-sitter, both VastPark and Second Life have incredible things to offer. Hopefully both will provide key components for an ever-improving virtual worlds experience. The only certainty is that neither will do it on their own.

Filed Under: Australian News, Op-ed, Virtual Worlds Tagged With: ,

Brands under the hammer in Second Life

August 13, 2009 by Leave a Comment

smolinaro-aug2009 The Second Life blogosphere is igniting with the news that the listing guidelines for Second Life’s marketplace, xStreetSL, have been tightened up.

Essentially, it’s now prohibited to sell any virtual goods that resemble a real-world brand. That’s no shock and probably reasonable. The contention is over the ban on avatars that resemble actual celebrities. It’s a pretty silly ruling that’ll be essentially unenforceable outside of the xStreetSL website. Admittedly, protecting brands is a balancing act for any company, but this appears to be an over-protective move.

Let me throw out another conundrum likely to occur in the future as a result of this decision. Let’s say an avatar becomes a celebrity in its own right. Its shape, clothing and skin may have been created from scratch or different aspects purchased from vendors. Could said avatar argue they are now a brand and prevent people creating avatars that resemble them? Avatars-as-brands well and truly exist now – it’s the policy developments like these that continue to push well beyond the traditional boundaries of intellectual property law. It’s going to take some serious legislative work in the medium term to create some solid ground under virtual world content creators.

Filed Under: General News, Law and virtual worlds, Virtual Worlds Tagged With: , , ,

The Progression of Teaching Maths As Times Change

August 13, 2009 by Leave a Comment

TEACHING MATHS IN 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

TEACHING MATHS IN 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is 80% of the price. What is his profit?

TEACHING MATHS IN 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is $80. How much was his profit?

TEACHING MATHS IN 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

TEACHING MATHS IN 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and Possums might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of $20.

TEACHING MATHS IN 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling license. He is also fined a $100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another $100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find Aboriginals have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further $100. While he is in jail the Aboriginals cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for $100 cash. They also have a leaving barbeque of Possum and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced $12,000 plus GST for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make $20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

TEACHING MATHS IN 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub-prime mortgages in Iceland and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses. The logger struggles to pay the $1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it. Some Kiwi loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to Australia with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay $1,500 registration fees as a gang master. The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.

Your assignment: You do the maths.

Filed Under: Email Joke Graveyard, General humor

Idiots of 2008

August 12, 2009 by Leave a Comment

Number One Idiot of 2008.

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre in our local Hospital.. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away…

Number Two Idiot of 2008.

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Rescue Helicopter coming towards them.. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.. They are no longer employed at Boeing or any other airline for that matter.

Number Three Idiot of 2008.

A man, wanting to rob a Bank A , walked into the Branch and wrote ‘Put all your muny in this bag.’ While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller’s window.. So he left the Bank and crossed the street to the Bank B.. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the teller She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn’t the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank A deposit slip and that he would either, have to fill out a Bank B deposit slip or go back to Bank A .. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, ‘OK’ and left.. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank A.

Number Four Idiot of 2008.

A guy walked into a little town corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, ‘Because I don’t believe you are over 21.’ The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn’t believe him.. At this point, the robber took his driver’s licence out of his
wallet and gave it to the clerk.. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag… The robber then ran from the store with
his loot.. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that she got off the licence. They arrested the robber two hours later…

Number Five Idiot of 2008

A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.. The first one shouted, ‘Nobody move!’ When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him..

Number Six Idiot of 2008.

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he’d just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.. So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window.. The brick bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Flexi-Glass… The whole event was caught on
videotape…

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local McDonalds and ordered a burger.. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’ He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg..

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ”Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?? To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know??’ He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’

JUST AN IDIOT :

When my husband and I arrived at a car dealers to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door.. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘its open!’ His reply, ‘I know – I already got that side.’

Filed Under: Email Joke Graveyard, General humor

Healthcare Support Groups in Virtual Worlds

August 11, 2009 by 4 Comments

(originally posted over on Metaverse Health)

As promised, I wanted to spend some time going over the recent handful of peer-reviewed papers submitted for the health-focused recent issue of the Journal of Virtual Worlds Research.

First cab off the rank is the paper titled The Growth and Direction of Healthcare Support Groups in Virtual Worlds by John Norris. Its focus is a review of four virtual worlds (Second Life, Kaneva, There and IMVU) and the breadth and popularity of support groups in existence around health issues.

For the regular virtual worlds follower, there’s nothing too surprising in the findings, but they’re noteworthy all the same:

– Second Life support groups revolved predominantly around disabilities and mental health issues in regards to numbers of members.

– IMVU groups also featured mental health issues heavily,mainly due to a very popular ‘Suicide, Depression, and Relationships’ group.

– There.com skewed toward general health topics with a significant cohort of interest in the disabilities area.

– Kaneva had a slightly different focus on Gay, Lesbian and Transgender issues, as well as autism.

There is a caveat openly referred to by John Norris in his work: the numbers of participants in these groups are relatively small, particularly when compared to the burgeoning 2D health support space with its myriad discussion forums and other community mechanisms. That said, he makes some good assertions:

1. That the advent of virtual worlds provides another means for people to seek highly customised healthcare support, meaning the potential for finding the exact niche being sought is higher as adoption grows.

2. That, like any emerging area of healthcare, there needs to be more research done on the efficacy of the approach.

3. That the lack of access to good quantitative and qualitative data poses a challenge for those who see the need for more research.

Filed Under: Health Tagged With: ,

Beautiful Kate: the Second Life aspect

August 11, 2009 by Leave a Comment

Over the past year we’ve had the absolute pleasure of playing a small part in Beautiful Kate, the recently released film directed by Rachel Ward.

You can read about the project in much more detail here. Here’s a short machinima we created to showcase some of the work done:

Filed Under: Techgeekery Tagged With: , ,

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