Archives for 2009

What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop.
We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.We went up to him and said, ‘Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?’

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres..

So my wife called him a *&^*-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn’t care. We came into town by bus. We try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired. It’s important at our age.

The Frog

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

‘Miss Whack, I’d like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday.’

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, ‘Sure. I have this,’ and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused , Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, ‘There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.’

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. ‘I mean, what in the world is this?’

(folks, you’re gonna luv this)

The bank manager looks back at her and says….

‘It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man’s a Rolling Stone.’

The Watch – virtual worlds in the news

1. Abeceder (UK) – Virtual world experiences increases racial bias. “They say you should walk a mile in a person’s shoes before judging them. Virtual reality technology offers this possibility by allowing us to control a digital representation of another person. Unfortunately, the first ever investigation of racial perspective-taking in an immersive virtual environment has found that assuming a different racial identity leads to increased racial bias, not less. Victoria Groom and colleagues invited 98 participants, half of whom were of White ethnicity, to view a photograph of either a Black or White person of the same gender as themselves, and to imagine they were that person. Next the participants donned a virtual reality headset which transported them to an empty room where they were interviewed for a job, still playing the role of that other person. Crucially, half the participants could see their new identity in a mirror in the virtual room, and as they answered some introductory questions they spent at least a minute observing their adopted selves in the mirror.”

2. Virtual Worlds News (USA) – Weblin Closes, Users Transitioned to Club Cooee. “Layered virtual world Weblin is ceasing operations, according to a company newsletter sent to registered users today. Media reports attribute the closure to a lack of funds. Weblin users are being invited to transition Club Cooee, a site run by the former Weblin principals Jan Andresen and Christine Stumpf.”

3. Escapist Magazine (USA) – Virtual Worlds and MMORPGs: The Best and Worst of Humanity. “The three years Juan Carlos Piñeiro Escoriaza spent making his MMORPG documentary Second Skin were a bit of a wild ride, as he saw how much good these worlds could do for people, and just how badly they could spiral out of control. Juan Carlos Piñeiro Escoriaza was a life-long console gamer until a friend introduced him to the MMOG space via SOE’s Star Wars Galaxies. Though Escoriaza would eventually quit SWG due to the time investment, the experience – and the idea of real people choosing to take on virtual responsibilities – stuck with him. The seeds from that eventually blossomed into his feature-film documentary, Second Skin, which premieres tonight.”

4. Newsweek (USA) – The Sound of One Hand Clicking. “Luis Figueroa lives down the street from UC Merced, the newest campus in the University of California system. So it’s not surprising that the 21-year-old studies from the comfort of his own home. But he’s not enrolled at Merced: from his living-room computer, Figueroa is earning his bachelor’s degree in business administration at Columbia College in Missouri, some 2,000 miles away. At $630 per course—about $1,800 per semester—his online degree will cost far less than even in-state tuition at UC. Not only that, Figueroa is able to continue working full time in a management-training job with AT&T in Merced, a job he feels lucky to have in the current economic climate. “Once I realized I had time constraints, I knew the traditional classroom wouldn’t work,” he says. “Courses online are open 24 hours a day, and I’m able to go there any time I want.”

5. PSFK (USA) – Digital Immortality and Death 2.0. “Without coming across as too macabre and curmudgeonly, we’ll simply say that with dawn of the internet, the business of death has gotten a lot more complicated these days. Consider that wills once existed for the sole purpose of ceding ownership of physical objects, and quests for immortality – things like cryonics, transhumanism, fountains of youth and religion (ahem) – remained firmly planted in the realms of fantasy, but as the lines between our real and digital worlds continue to blur, these customs have changed. The things we leave behind, from virtual businesses to entire online lives, now have an immaterial existence and longevity all their own.”

6. CNET (USA) – Second Life for returning veterans. “Veterans are often reluctant to seek therapy for service-related conditions, but rather than write them off, scientists are creating a virtual online community where servicemembers can find the camaraderie and resources to ease their return to civilian life. The “Transitional Online Post-deployment Soldier Support in Virtual Worlds” created by the University of Southern California’s Institute for Creative Technologies (ICT) will be ensconced within a corner of the virtual landscape of Second Life, a popular online 3D grid where people interact through avatars (PDF). Also known as Coming Home, this world will contain three main areas: one for social activities, one for competitive and collaborative gaming, and one for resources. The resources area will be staffed by artificial intelligence-driven virtual characters available 24-7 to steer veterans to the appropriate support and therapies.”

7. Times Online (UK) – The top seven social networking sites for kids. “How do you know when a social networking site isn’t cool anymore? The day that your dad joins up. A new study has found that young people are turning their backs on sites such as Facebook and Twitter. Meanwhile, the number of 35 to 54-year-olds using such sites has rocketed by 25 per cent in the last year. So what can you do if you don’t want to be poked by your mum or added by your gran? Here’s a round up of the coolest sites and virtual worlds for children – just make sure you hide this page from your parents.”

8. Mass High Tech (USA) – Viximo seeks to turn virtual goods into real profit. “It’s hard enough for online retailers to get consumers to spend money on real goods and services — but one Cambridge company is betting that sites will want to get into the business of selling virtual goods. Venture-backed Virtual Goods Market Inc., which does business as Viximo, provides a white-label virtual goods store with gifts and personal accessories designed to complement online identities and messages. When Viximo launched in 2007, the company’s founders thought publishers of virtual worlds like Second Life and massively multiplayer online role-playing games would be among its core customers, said co-founder Brian Balfou.”

9. IGN (USA) – Artificial Emotions at Gamescom 2009. “The future of computer games in all facets awaits visitors at the trade show “gamescom 2009″. Held in Cologne for the first time, Europes leading games industry gathering draws not only the interested public, but first and foremost, experts and professionals from across the globe. At the Artificial Technology GmbH booth (Hall 4.2, Booth K27) the heads of the company, Frank Gwosdz, Serein Pfeiffer and Daniel Renner, will shed light on the inner workings of EKI One 2.0, their new full-version modular middleware for emotional and artificial intelligence. ”

10. Wired (UK) – Does a healthy virtual life mean a healthy real life? “pparently having a slim avatar encourages Second Lifers to get healthier in real life. Researchers at RTI International have published a report in the Journal of Virtual Worlds Research, which reveals that a healthy virtual life can impact attitudes towards fitness in real life. The team interviewed 29 Second Life residents. According to Science Daily: “Half the participants were interviewed by a thin avatar and half the participants were interviewed by an obese avatar.” They were then quizzed about their levels of physical activity both in the virtual and real worlds. “

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down..
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that..
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Cheques, Write ‘ For Marijuana.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7 Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is ‘To Go’.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream ‘I Won! I Won!’
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, ‘Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.’

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

Weekend Whimsy

1. Munich in Second Life

2.The Phoenix Embers Showcats (Second Life)

3. Second Life Tribute to Where the hell is Matt

Never lie to your mother

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian’s mother couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Brian’s roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian’s Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, Brian volunteered, ‘I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.’

About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, ‘Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?’

Brian said, ‘Well, I doubt it, but I’ll send her an e-mail just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote:
__________________________________________________________
Dear Mom,

I’m not saying that you ‘did’ take the gravy ladle from the house, I’m not saying that you ‘did not’ take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Brian
__________________________________________________________

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:
____________________________________________________

Dear Son,

I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Jennifer, I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom

Beautiful Kate – behind the scenes glimpses

As I’ve mentioned before, the Australian film Beautiful Kate sees its full Australian launch today, with other localities to follow soon.

To coincide with this, I’ve created a short machinima showing a glimpse of the scene in which Second Life is featured and some other stills of the process that led to the final product:

International release details will be posted as soon as they become available. Those who live near Toronto Canada can view it at the Toronto International Film Festival in September.

For the Second Life related details, read on here.

A very quick Irish joke

So Paddy asks Murphy: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”

To which Murphy replies:

“You thick idiot – If they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat

Merged realities – events and issues for virtual worlds

sl-fun 1. The US Department of Defense continues its exploration of virtual worlds as a support mechanism for troops.

2. Tateru Nino has an excellent piece on the recently published anthropological study of Linden Lab by Thomas Malaby. Our copy arrived in the past few days and we’ll have more on it in the near future.

3. Twinity’s Virtual Singapore is launching on the 9th August:

Twinity extends a warm welcome to pioneering virtual Singapore residents from around the world. Prime retail and residential real estate is now available, so claiming your stake in virtual Singapore has never been easier. Explore the city, locate the perfect apartment, and make yourself at home.

Virtual Singapore is also open for business and the commercial opportunities are endless. Set up shop in a premium neighborhood or open a gallery, music venue, bar or restaurant. Show your allegiance to Singapore and welcome Twinizens from other parts of the virtual world to your home city.

4. Pooky Amsterdam has an interesting treatise on reasons to use Second Life as a media platform.

Sign at Scotland Golf Club

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.

2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.

3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!

4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.

5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.

6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.

7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.

8. DON’T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.

9. QUIET PLEASE … WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.

10. DON’T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.

WELL DONE… NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, WASH YOUR HANDS AND GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF

Previous Posts