Archives for January 2017

Pay Negotiations

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources rep asked a young engineer fresh out of university “And what starting salary were you looking for?”

The engineer said “In the neighbourhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package”.

The interviewer said “Well, what would you say to a package of 5 week’s vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years… say, a BMW?”

The engineer sat up straight and said “Wow! Are you kidding?”

And the interviewer replied “Yeah, but you started it”.

Do Males or Females Enjoy Sex More?

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.

The man said “Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we’re so obsessed with getting laid?”

“That doesn’t prove anything” the woman countered. “Think about this… when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?”

Bank Robbery Buddies

Two friends were standing in a bank when a pair of robbers entered.

Not only did the thieves clean out the cash registers, but they walked around with bags and ordered everyone to throw their valuables in.

Just as the robbers got to the pair, one of the friends turned to the other and, passing him a bill, said “By the way, Joe, here’s that twenty bucks I owe you”.

Book Review: The View from the Cheap Seats

Neil Gaiman is one of those authors that can make any other writer can blanch when comparing their own work with his. From novels and comic books, to even writing screenplay adaptations, he is a highly accomplished author and it would be no surprise if even more of his work was adapted into TV and film in the coming year – I’m already counting the days until American Gods premieres.

I’m breaking into a sweat even thinking about writing a review of of anything Gaiman has written – let alone a book collecting amongst other things his own reviews of other people’s work.

The View from the Cheap Seats is a typical Gaiman creation in that there’s a lot more to it than is evident on a quick peruse. This is one of those collections that you won’t necessarily want to read from from to back in one sitting, and nor do you need to given the varied content broken up into discreet sections. There are reviews of movies, discussions on relationships with other authors and artists, thoughts on science fiction and comics. For mine, the first section is one of the best: thoughts on the importance of libraries, bookshops and Halloween to name three topics. That said, Gaiman’s ability to engage works equally as well in the non-fiction realm and I haven’t been tempted to skip chapters on topics of little interest.

If you’re after a book of essays that are written with skill and passion, then definitely give The View From The Cheap Seats a go. If you’re looking for wild fantasy you won’t find it, but in its place you’ll fine something equally as satisfying.

 

Why We Hate Internet Providers: Example #74737282

Maybe Optus NBN is designed for laptops like this?

Just had to share this:

1. Buy new phone from Optus Store

2. Get phone home and connect it to computer.

3. Message says OS on the new phone is too old to allow transfer of apps / data from old phone backup.

Read: we sold you stock that’s been sitting here a while and Apple have released two updates since then, one of which killed a lot of people’s phone batteries if they dared to use a phone older than the one you purchased today.

4. Start to download update – using Optus NBN Fibre to the Premises 100/40 connection i.e. an NBN connection as fast (and expensive) as you can get in Australia at present.

5. Notice that download is going slow. Stop download and do speed test. Surprise surprise, 4MBps download speeds as has occurred anytime between 8am and 2am the next morning over the past three weeks. Upload speed at 35 MBps.

6. Call Optus. They get me to do a factory reset and allegedly do something their end as well. Now get 10MBps downloads at best. Optus person makes out it’s a great improvement at 10% of what I optimally should be getting (and have gotten close to previously). Am told that there is indeed congestion issues at the exchange , and that they will contact me when resolved (yeah right).

So now I wait for 4 hours to download a software update for an Optus-purchased product on a massively sub-standard Optus NBN connection. Royal Commission anyone?

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