How Men and Women Shower

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror-make mental note-must do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.
7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off).
11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
12. Scream loudly when your husband flushed the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
13. Turn off shower.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Tilex.
15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.
17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the “woo-woo” sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Don’t bother to look for a washcloth (you don’t use one).
6. Wash your face.
7. Wash your armpits.
8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.
9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
10. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.
11. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.
12. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
14. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.
15. Pee (in the shower).
16. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
17. Partially dry off.
18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener size again.
19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
20. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the “woo-woo” sound again.
22. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.

We Hate People Episode 14: Life, The Universe and Wogan

logo-withtagline-blogsize300x300We go a bit rogue even for us this episode, with a lot of time spent on comics, with some Game of Thrones and a book review thrown in for good measure.

The Show Notes

– Eurovision 2016
– Captain America gets a new (crap) twist (link)
– General diatribe against Marvel and DC for their short-sighted retconning obsession
– An unexpected book review – Neal Stephenson’s Seveneves
– David’s failed attempt at a novel
– Will The Black Flash make an appearance in Season 3 of the TV series (link)
– Game of Thrones Season 6 discussion on developments to date (spoilers!)

Don’t forget we’d love your feedback via the website, Twitter or Facebook.

You can find out how to subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Google Play Music or Stitcher here.

If you like this podcast you may also enjoy our gaming podcast: Flash Point

We Hate People Episode 13: It’s On!

logo-withtagline-blogsize300x300We get a bit political again with an Aussie election on the way and the US election season grinding on. But don’t worry we also talk everything from Tesla to Taxis.

The Show Notes

– Election called in Australia and outcome predictions (for the record, David claims LNP ends up with 79/150 seats)
– Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton and the US Presidential Election
– Is Apple the new HP? Should they get Elon Musk in to run the show?
– Lyft and GM to launch a self drive taxi service (link)
– Free Comic Book Day
– Vale Prince
– Carpool Karaoke (link)
– Assorted ranting, rambling and banter

Don’t forget we’d love your feedback via the website, Twitter or Facebook.

You can find out how to subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Google Play Music or Stitcher here.

If you like this podcast you may also enjoy our gaming podcast: Flash Point

Euclideon Keeps On Keeping On

Long-term readers will know we’ve been following Bruce Dell and his company Euclideon for essentially the whole of their commercial life.

Here’s a very recent presentation from Bruce Dell on the upcoming launch of the Holoverse VR centre in Brisbane. It also has a useful interview section at the end. Have a watch:

The cynics still abound in regard to Euclideon and their claims, but it appears there’s ongoing progress and growth – whether they end up world dominators is far from certain, but I doubt anyone could argue they’re not trying damn hard to do something great.

What’s your take?

We Hate People Episode 12: And So It Goes

logo-withtagline-blogsize300x300After a too-long break we’re back to talk US presidential elections, Batman vs Superman and Tesla cars just to name three topics.

The Show Notes

– Listener suggestions (thanks Jay Connell!)
– Donald Trump and the US Presidential primaries
– Batman versus Superman / Fans vs Critics
– Tesla Model 3 (link)
– Vale Ronnie Corbett (link to some great examples of his work)
– Assorted ranting, rambling and banter

Don’t forget we’d love your feedback via the website, Twitter or Facebook.

You can find out how to subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Google Play Music or Stitcher here.

If you like this podcast you may also enjoy our gaming podcast: Flash Point

We Hate People Episode 11: Pedestrian Rage

logo-withtagline-blogsize300x300Huge audience demand (ok maybe just some guilt) means we’re finally back on deck after a long Xmas hiatus. We jump in with some great listener-suggested topics as well as a decent debate over the US Presidential election.

The Show Notes

– The ridiculousness of 3D (and 4D) movies
– Listener suggestions (thanks David C and Ben McJ!): Pedestrian Rage, Older drivers, and Phil Anselmo’s White Power Nazi Salute.
– Unadulterated plug for The Music Week
– The US Presidential Election – we pick a winner (sort of)
– TV recommendations: Trailer Park Boys, Occupied, Billions
– Deadpool movie discussion

Don’t forget we’d love your feedback via the website, Twitter or Facebook.

If you like this podcast you may also enjoy our gaming podcast: Flash Point

Vinyl From The Vault: Gilles Pellegrini 12 Hits No.76

An ongoing series showcasing less common albums and their covers

French pop covers record – no. 76 in the series. No year displayed but given there’s covers of Elton John’s Nikita and Lionel Richie’s Say You Say Me, it was released circa 1986-1987:

gilles-pellegrini-12hits-no.76

Apple Mail and POP Account Offline in El Capitan

Since upgrading to OSX El Capitan, I noticed one of my POP accounts keeps going offline. That account is hosted on Godaddy and after some web trawling it seems that Godaddy hosted POP email accounts won’t play nicely with Apple Mail under El Capitan. This may be the case with other hosting providers as well.

Thankfully, the solution is simple. Go to Preferences in Apple Mail and under the ‘Advanced’ tab there’s an option labeled ‘Automatically detect and maintain account settings’. If you
uncheck that box, your account will start working again.

Here’s a screen shot example:

Accounts

I hope that’s of some help!

We Hate People Episode 10: Funky Miasma

logo-withtagline-blogsize300x300Wow, ten shows and we’re still here! We celebrate with some in-depth discussion on everything from body odour to flu pandemics.

The Show Notes

– Listener suggestion (thanks Ben McJannett!): Keyboard activists and the Melbourne Cup
– Crowd behaviour, body odour and the zombie apocalypse
– Halloween post-mortem
– TV Reviews: The Inbetweeners, Continuum

Don’t forget we’d love your feedback via the website, Twitter or Facebook.

If you like this podcast you may also enjoy our gaming podcast: Flash Point

My Teen Is Moody – Is It Normal?

Some reassuring news from science this week, on the mood swings of teens. A Dutch study published in Child Development has a bunch of outcomes that should put at least some parents’ minds at ease:

Most Teen Mood Swings Decline with Age

Adolescence is typically regarded as a period of heightened emotionality. Although the teen years are an important time for youth to learn to regulate their emotions, little research has looked at the development of teens’ emotional stability. Now a new longitudinal study has found that adolescents’ mood swings decline gradually as they get older, which should reassure parents about their moody teens while also helping identify when instability is considered risky and requires intervention.

The study, conducted by researchers at VU University Amsterdam, the EMGO Institute for Health and Care Research, Utrecht University, and Tilburg University, all in the Netherlands, appears in the journal Child Development.

“We found that early adolescence is the period of the greatest volatility, but adolescents gradually stabilize in their moods,” according to Hans M. Koot, professor of developmental psychology at VU University Amsterdam and the EMGO Institute for Health and Care Research, a coauthor of the study. “An important message to teens, parents, and teachers is that temporary mood swings during early adolescence might actually be normal and aren’t necessarily a reason to worry.”

Researchers followed 474 middle- to high-income Dutch adolescents from ages 13 to 18. Forty percent of these adolescents were at high risk for externalizing behaviors (e.g., aggressive or delinquent behavior) at age 12. Using Internet diaries, the teens rated their daily moods in terms of happiness, anger, sadness, and anxiety during three weeks of the school year for five years (that is, a total of 15 weeks spread over five years). Using these daily assessments, the researchers calculated fluctuations in day-to-day mood and then analyzed whether these showed any developmental changes across the five-year period.

During the course of adolescence, teens’ moods became more stable for happiness, anger, and sadness, the study found. Although girls had higher variability than boys in happiness and sadness, the rate of change across adolescence was similar for both sexes.

The researchers posited that teens’ moods could become more stable because events that are new in early adolescence (such as first romances, which can be exciting, and conflicts with parents about leisure time, which can be frustrating) happen less frequently as teens grow older. And it’s likely that adolescents figure out over time how to deal more effectively with changes in their moods.

Anxiety was the only mood that didn’t fit in with this overall pattern. The variability in teens’ anxious moods waxed and waned, with an initial increase, then a decrease, followed by an increase again toward the end of adolescence. This trend could be explained by the transition toward adulthood, the researchers suggest, which might induce more anxiety swings in late adolescence due to teens’ increasing responsibilities (such as leaving school, going on to higher education, or getting a job).

“In general, heightened mood variability will eventually pass,” notes Dominique F. Maciejewski, a Ph.D. student at VU University Amsterdam and the EMGO Institute for Health and Care Research, and the study’s first author. “By demonstrating that most teens get less moody across adolescence, our study provides a solid basis for identifying adolescents who develop in a deviant way. In particular, teens who continue to be extremely moody or who get even moodier across adolescence may need to be monitored more closely since earlier studies have shown that extreme mood swings are related to more emotional, behavioral, and interpersonal problems.”

So there you have it – though there’s one very important point to make. You are likely to know your teen best so if you think something’s up, then perhaps there is an issue to discuss or get help for. If in doubt, seek guidance from a qualified professional such as a psychologist, counsellor or general practitioner.

[For the research nerds to full citation is: Child Development, A Five-Year Longitudinal Study on Mood Variability Across Adolescence using Daily Diaries by Maciejewski, DF, van Lier, PAC (VU University Amsterdam and EMGO Institute for Health and Care Research), Branje, SJT (Utrecht University), Meeus, WHJ (Utrecht University and Tilburg University), and Koot, HM (VU University Amsterdam and EMGO Institute for Health Care Research). Copyright 2015 The Society for Research in Child Development, Inc. All rights reserved.]

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