Fans Annoyed At Wait For Game of Thrones Season 5


Fans of what is arguably the world’s most popular TV show are getting increasingly frustrated at the delays in the screening of Series 5 of Game of Thrones.

Senior Business Analyst Miles Hawthorn was scathing.

“The show’s producers spend so much time hyping each series when they could be getting the damn shows out there for us to enjoy, as is our right. It’s like the actors prefer pimping themselves out at comic conventions rather than getting their butts onto the set.”

Series 4, which concluded this week, saw some key characters die and the story change tack yet again, but it’s all too little for Haberdashery Quality Manager Sheree Markham.

“If D-Day could be launched in one morning, why the hell are we waiting more than a few days between series? The writers seem to take longer than Tywin Lannister in the bathroom – it’s a farce.”

The Snark is The Creative Shed’s Satire News Section. 100% of it is satire and in no way resembles reality. Reality is way sillier than this stuff. Follow The Snark on Facebook and Twitter

Game of Thrones Fans Create Anti-Death Fund for George R.R. Martin


In what’s considered the biggest collaboration in human history, millions of Game of Thrones fans have kicked in money for an Anti-Death Fund, designed to maximise the life expectancy of creator George R.R. Martin.

The ‘George R.R. United Fighting Fund’ or GRUFF for short, is the brainchild of Jamen Staff, who outlined progress to date.

“The real Game of Thrones fans, those who’ve read the books before the show arrived, have traditionally seen the casual TV show fans as minions of the Seven Hells determined to distract George from his true mission in life. It’s their vacuous squealing over each episode that’s meant George has been distracted with the TV shows at the expense of the books. As a group, the true fans have generally agreed to put that behind us, and to work with the TV fan kidlets to protect the future of both the books and TV series.”


GRUFF founder Jamen Staff

Staff’s colleague, GRUFF treasurer Leanne ‘Iron Bank’ Williams, provided a thirty slide Powerpoint presentation on the money raised, which is in excess of five million dollars. “It’s been pretty easy to raise to be honest. With the show rating the way it is, random phone calls to people on a Monday morning work well. We state we’re calling from the Government and that we’ve noted the Sunday night Bit Torrent downloads they’ve been making. That tends to see spontaneous and generous donations.”

When asked why Mr. Martin needs the money given his success as an author, Ms Williams was frank. “He doesn’t, but we’re going to use the money to buy every business in his hometown. Each business will be staffed by members of the fund, all with access to George’s details so they can be sure that he maintains his health optimally. Just think of what we can do. We’ll control all food, transport and energy – we project that within six months he’ll be feeling the best he has in years. If that’s not fans caring, I don’t know what is.”

When asked what Mr Martin would think of this strategy, Jamen Staff was emphatic.

“It’s not about him – he’s just the currently unhealthy vessel for the eventually completed book series. If he finishes the last two books, he can do what he likes after that. Although there’s some who feel a prequel series would be nice, so I won’t rule out an ongoing campaign. Either way, once it’s all done we’ll sell up all the assets and donate them to the slaves of Westeros. It’s a great win-win situation.”

The Snark is The Creative Shed’s Satire News Section. 100% of it is satire and in no way resembles reality. Reality is way sillier than this stuff. Follow The Snark on Facebook and Twitter

Climate Change Catastrophe: Survivor Under Threat



The charged political debate over global warming and climate change has caused its own set of political casualties, with huge work remaining to build a worldwide consensus on tackling the issue. In the meantime, the general public appear to already be suffering the consequences. One stark example is Survivor, the never-ending series of reality TV shows. Still rating well, thanks to a dedicated fan base of North Americans who assume each series is actually filmed in Florida, the show is facing one of the biggest challenges in its fourteen year history.

Series presenter Jeff Probst, fresh from condemning eighteen more people to a lifetime of C or D grade celebrity on Survivor: Cagayan , looked drawn and was quite emotional when interviewed.

“Most people don’t realise that Survivor is one of the most popular shows in TV history, and in these difficult times it’s a beacon of hope to the peoples of the world,” Probst said in his understated style.


Jeff Probst – international diplomat and environmental science advocate

“With the rising sea levels, we have a crisis on our hands. The public have just watched season 28 of the show, but we’re already in production for season 42, and we’ve hit a huge road block. We’re running out of locations to shoot the show from, and with rising sea levels we’re not sure we’ll be able to continue beyond season 50, which we’ll be shooting in 2017.”

When quizzed on remaining locations the producers have scouted, Probst was more coy. “I don’t want to give too much away, but I can confirm we’re considering Survivor: Fyshwick and Survivor: Slough, but our focus group testing isn’t coming back that positive.”

Probst and the show’s producers have written to the United Nations and each of the G20 nations outlining the crisis and Probst is spearheading the efforts. “I’ve met more heads of state in the past six months than Bono has in his lifetime. With all modesty I can say each and every one of them love the show and agree the issue has opened their eyes to the wide ranging impacts of climate change. By the way, they all said that Bono was the most boring person they’d ever met.”

The Snark is The Creative Shed’s Satire News Section. 100% of it is satire and in no way resembles reality. Reality is way sillier than this stuff. Follow The Snark on Facebook and Twitter


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